Etiquette in South Korea

Etiquette in South Korea governs expectations of social behavior in respect for the decorum of its local culture. It is largely derived from Korean Confucianism and focuses on the core values of the religion.^[1] South Korean etiquette also has thorough parameters regarding how one should behave and carry oneself in terms of social status. While certain aspects of etiquette are localized to specific regions, some broader proscriptions remain within the country at large. The following customs are generally accepted in modern South Korea, although some have been influenced by cultural permutation from outside countries, namely China, Japan, and the United States.

South Korean chopsticks and spoon.

General

There are several points of etiquette in South Korea that are defined by either cultural taboos or broader concerns about manners. The following three practices are examples of widespread and recognizable concerns to native South Koreans as a whole:

• Using the number four is considered unlucky, even ominous, as the pronunciation of four is similar to the Chinese character 死 (meaning 'death'). It is also considered bad luck to select four in an elevator, some are even built without a fourth floor button. Gifts are also rarely given in multiples of four, whereas giving seven multiples of an item is considered lucky and a wish for good fortune.^[2]
• Kissing in public is looked down upon and seen as highly immodest among older individuals in South Korea. This has become less taboo with the current generation of young adults, but is still widely discouraged by elders.^[5]
• Dressing well is largely emphasized in South Korea; it is considered a sign of respect. Wearing a suit and tie is typically appropriate in formal situations, such as meeting new people. South Koreans also dress well for civic activities, especially in larger cities like Seoul.^[7]

Greetings and body language

Colin Powell & Roh Moo-hyun shaking hands.

South Koreans usually shake hands when they meet for the first time. In order to show respect, individuals support their right forearms with their left hands.^[8] The bow is also a traditional South Korean greeting and is often accompanied by a handshake among men. South Koreans consider it a personal violation to be touched by someone who is not a relative or close friend. Touching, patting, or back slapping is to be avoided during interactions. In addition, direct eye contact between juniors and seniors should be avoided because it is seen as impolite or even a challenge.^[9]

Eating and drinking

Table etiquette in South Korea can be traced back to the Confucian philosophies of the Joseon period.^[10][11] Traditionally when dining, South Koreans use cushions to sit on the floor and eat from a low table.^[12] The floor is generally heated by the ondol, an underfloor heating system. This custom is still common at many restaurants in South Korea. The dining area in a restaurant is generally on a raised platform, which visitors are expected to remove their shoes before stepping on to. Today, most restaurants also have tables and chairs in case visitors feel uncomfortable sitting on the floor.^[13]

South Korean restaurant, Marou.

Eating

Unlike the Chinese or Japanese, South Koreans never pick a rice bowl up to one’s mouth. During a meal, bowls and dishes should remain on the table. It is also unacceptable to speak of smelly or dirty things when having meals with others. Another common manner is to neither eat too slow or fast. Also, blowing one's nose at the table, even if the meal is spicy, is considered mildly offensive. If such an action is necessary, it is recommended to leave the table or otherwise be discreet.^[3] Asians, including South Koreans, use chopsticks when they are eating. However, unlike other Asian countries, South Korean chopsticks are made from stainless steel. ^[1] They are shorter in length than Chinese chopsticks, but longer in length than Japanese chopsticks.^[14] During a meal, chopsticks are not to be thrown on the table. Additionally, spoons should not touch plates; because, they may make a clashing sound. Both chopsticks and spoons should never be put into food, particularly rice, standing up; because, it resembles food offerings at a grave for deceased ancestors; therefore, it is considered bad luck.

Drinking

In restaurants and bars, pouring one's own drink is seen as a faux pas. It is generally preferred that hosts fill the drinks of their company, and the company should do the same for the host. Therefore, paying attention to other’s drink glasses and filling them when empty is a common procedure at bars, parties, and other social settings. If one does not wish to drink any further, that person is to simply leave their glass full. Tradition states that guests should not refuse the first drink offered by a host. ^[15] If a guest refuses a drink up to three times, that specific guest will not be offered anymore.^[16]

When adult guests are asked to pour a drink, they are expected to offer the drink respectfully with two hands. When pouring alcoholic drinks, guests should hold the cup with their right hands and the wrist of their right hands should be held lightly with their left hands.^[4] Guests are expected to always pass and receive objects with their right hands or with two hands, and to never use their left hands alone.^[6] It is also customary to fill empty cups immediately.^[17]

Tradition also states that when adult guests receive alcoholic drinks, they should apply the same etiquette. However, if elders offer alcoholic drinks to younger guests. Then they should take the drink and politely show gratitude by saying "thank you". Younger guests should then hit the bottle and put it down. If the alcoholic drink is beer, it is proper for younger guests to turn their heads. These actions please elders’ because when someone of a higher social standing pours a drink, it is considered proper for the less significant person to turn away. ^[18][19]

Housewarming

Housewarming in South Korea is called Gib-Deul-YI (집들이), and involves the customary practice of hosting a small gathering after moving into a new home. Friends, relatives, and neighbors are shown around the house while being served food and drinks.^[20] Traditionally, the owner of the new home would invite a shaman (무당 mudang) to perform a shamanist ritual (gut) on the evening of move-in day. However, today people prefer to celebrate the completion of home construction somewhat differently. In Ongjin-gun, Gyeonggi-do, it is also called the deulchari (들차리) and the owner (feng shui) will select an evening to invite over friends and villagers to show them around while serving them food. The food served is usually bibimbap (비빔밥) mixed with rice, bean sprouts, and gangtu (a type of seaweed). People celebrate late into the night by playing an hourglass-shaped drum (장구 janggu) and singing. People who live in the Seongnam area, also have a similar celebration when they build or move into a new home. Their guests prepare matches or candles, which symbolizes their wishes for the household to rise and prosper. People often offer detergent and toilet paper as moving in presents, which signifies that everything will go well.^[20]

Gifts and gift-giving

Many South Koreans give gifts to each other to celebrate birthdays, weddings, and holidays, such as New Year’s and the South Korean Thanksgiving. People give a variety of gifts, however the kind of gift depends on who and when someone is exactly receiving the gift.^[21] For a wedding, many South Koreans usually give brides and grooms money as a gift, however best friends of the couple will give them household appliances.^[22][23] During the holidays, South Koreans usually give their parents and superiors popular gifts, such as ribs, fruits, wine, and/or gift cards. Neighbors often receive cooking oil, a can of tuna, and/or laver.^{[22] [23]}

Funerals

In South Korea, going to a funeral involves praying for a deceased person to take rest in heaven and is related to filial piety. Funerals and rituals are ceremonies organized by descendants and it is considered their responsibility to oversee them. Recently, funeral customs have significantly changed. For example, people now prefer to have small funerals and be cremated rather than be buried.^[24]

A funeral in South Korea.

Making a condolence call

In South Korea, the phrase “condolence call” means to show sadness towards those who are deceased and give condolence to mourners. In South Korea, a condolence call is called Jomu [조문(弔問)] or Munsang [문상(問喪)].^[25] If an individual is older than the person who has passed away, that individual only has to bow to the primary mourner.^[25]

Offering flowers

When offering flowers at a funeral, the blossoms of the flowers should face the deceased as a symbol of the flower ceremony.^[25]

Bowing

Unlike during usual courtesy interactions, a male bows by placing his left hand on top of his right. Conversely, a woman bows by placing her right hand on top of her left. People should bow one time for those who are alive and twice for those who are deceased.^[25]

Special birthdays

Doljanchi

A doljanchi or dol (돌잔치) is a traditional South Korean first birthday celebration. Long ago, when medical science was unable to cure many diseases and malnutrition was rampant, infants rarely survived up until their first birthday. Thus, due to past high infant mortality rates, the dol became a milestone that blessed a child with a prosperous future and rejoiced a baby's survival. Many of the traditional customs are still included in the modern day dol. It is one of the most important birthdays a South Korean will celebrate.^[26] The highlight of the dol ritual is to foretell babies' futures through a grabbing event. During this event, if the baby picks up a brush, it is believed that he/she will become a scholar. If he/she selects a bundle of thread, the child is predicted to live a long life; whereas, money symbolizes wealth. Rice signifies that the baby will never go hungry, which was an important issue when people suffered famines. For a boy, the selection of a bow and arrow presumes that he will become a military commander. And for a girl, the selection of scissors or needles presumes that she will grow up to be a great craftsman.^[27]

Hwangab

A hwangab (hangul: 환갑; hanja: 還甲) in South Korea is a traditional way of celebrating one's 60th birthday. The number '60' means signifies the accomplishment of one big circle and the start of another in one's life, which is recognized as the traditional sexagenary cycle of the lunar calendar. In the past, the average life expectancy was much lower than sixty; therefore, it also celebrated longevity and the wish for an even longer, prosperous life. The celebration is customarily thrown by the children of the individual who is turning sixty, many relatives’ help as well by preparing an abundance of food. With the advent of modern health care, this occurrence is much more common than it used to be. Many South Koreans now take trips with their families instead of having a big party to celebrate their 60th birthday. Parties are also thrown when a person reaches 70 and 80 years old, which is called a Gohi (Hangul:고희) and Palsun (hangul:팔순)].^{[citation needed]}

Etiquette in Other Regions

• Etiquette in Africa
• Etiquette in Asia
• Etiquette in Australia and New Zealand
• Etiquette in Canada and the United States
• Etiquette in Japan
• Etiquette in Latin America
• Etiquette in the Middle East

See also

• Culture of Korea
• Korean cuisine
• Public holidays in South Korea
• Korean birthday celebrations
• Traditional Korean thought
• Marriage in South Korea

References

^ "Table Etiquette". Korea Tourism Organization. Retrieved 7 August 2012. 2. Culture, Customs and Etiquette of South Korea 3.Jump up ^ Airman's Quarterly Spring 2006 4.Jump up ^ "Public displays of affection: where to draw the line?". Retrieved 2015-05-09. 5.Jump up ^ Clements, Rhonda L.; Rady, Amy Meltzer (2012). Urban Physical Education: Instructional Practices and Cultural Activities. Human Kinetics. p. 15. ISBN 9780736098397. 6.Jump up ^ "Good Manners Information for Tourists Visiting Korea". Retrieved 2015-06-23. 7.Jump up ^ "South Korea - Cultural Etiquette - e Diplomat". www.ediplomat.com. Retrieved 2015-06-23. 8.Jump up ^ Lee, Silk. "Understanding Korean Culture and Korean Students" (PDF). Franklin Forest Elementary Troup County Schools. 9.Jump up ^ "InKAS - Dining Etiquette". www.inkas.org. Retrieved 2015-06-01. 10.Jump up ^ "Table Etiquette". visitkorea.or.kr. Korea Tourism Organization. 11.Jump up ^ "Acceptable Public Behavior in South Korea". Cross-Cultural Communication. 12.Jump up ^ "Official Site of Korea Tourism Org.: Table Etiquette". english.visitkorea.or.kr. Retrieved 2015-06-24. 13.Jump up ^ "Metal Chopsticks". Korea Taste. 2010-10-22. 14.Jump up ^ "International Dining Followup - Korean Cuisine". The International Women's Club of Stuttgart e.V. Retrieved 2015-06-01. 15.Jump up ^ Jeong, H. (2011). 정헌배 교수의 술나라 이야기[Story of alcoholic drink by Professor Jeong Hun Bae]. Seoul: Yedam. ISBN 978-89-5913-611-7. 16.Jump up ^ Fodor's Tokyo Etiquette & Behavior 17.Jump up ^ "Drinking culture of Korea". 2015-04-23. 18.Jump up ^ "InKAS - Drinking Culture in Korea". www.inkas.org. Retrieved 2015-06-23. 19.Jump up ^ "Liquor | Official Korea Tourism Organization". english.visitkorea.or.kr. Retrieved 2015-06-23. 20.^ Jump up to: a b "[네이버 지식백과] Housewarming Party (한국향토문화전자대전, 한국학중앙연구원)". Retrieved 2015-06-08. 21.Jump up ^ "한국의 선물 문화". http://www.sejonghakdang.org/. Retrieved 2015-06-14. External link in |website= (help) 22.^ Jump up to: a b "http://lms.sejonghakdang.org/contents/514/11/resources/11/19_i.html". lms.sejonghakdang.org. Retrieved 2015-06-14. External link in |title= (help) 23.^ Jump up to: a b "한국생활가이드북". www.liveinkorea.kr. Multicultural Institutions Organization. Retrieved 2015-06-24. 24.Jump up ^ "'마지막 안식처’는 어디로? 바뀌는 장례문화". newsjel.ly. Retrieved 2015-06-16. 25.^ Jump up to: a b c d e "http://www.yejangwon.com/xe/proc_2". www.yejangwon.com. Retrieved 2015-06-14. External link in |title= (help) 26.Jump up ^ "Little lotus party doljanchi". Retrieved 2015-06-08. 27.Jump up ^ "First Birthday Party Extravaganza Becomes Common". Retrieved 2015-06-08.

External links

• a video of Arirang chanel which introduce the Korean housewarming in English
• Guidebook for foreigner