Incompetence (novel)

Incompetence

First edition cover
Author Rob Grant
Country United Kingdom
Language English
Genre Science fiction, Comic novel
Publication date
2003
Media type Print Hardback
Pages 291 pp
ISBN 978-0-575-07449-1
OCLC 56659157

Incompetence is a dystopian comedy novel by Red Dwarf co-creator Rob Grant, first published in 2003 with the tag line "Bad is the new Good". It is a murder mystery and political thriller set in a near-future federal Europe where no-one can be "prejudiced from employment for reason of age, race, creed or incompitence [sic]". Consequently, much of the population demonstrates an extreme lack of competence in their occupations.

The novel tells the story of a detective working for an unnamed secret agency, with a variety of identities within various law enforcement agencies (two examples being Europol and the Police Corruption Investigation Department). His real name remains a mystery but he commonly uses the pseudonym Harry Salt. The story starts with the apparent death of his former mentor (Klingferm) in an apparent elevator accident. He suspects foul play, and his investigations lead him around various states of Europe. In the course of these investigations, he seems to be tracked by an unknown stalker. On the way, he is hindered by the fact that practically everyone he meets has a serious character flaw and/or mental deficiency. Another ongoing problem is his inability to acquire or hang onto a decent pair of shoes, primarily as all shoes in the "United States of Europe" are made of vegetable matter. A number of new mental disorders have apparently been classified in the book's universe, such as Sexually Inappropriate Response and Non-Specific Stupidity.

Examples of incompetence in the world around the agent are:

The plot appears to be based on the film The Third Man. The film is mentioned in the drunken conversation between Salt and Klingferm near the start of the book.

Plot

The story revolves around Harry, who is trying to find out who murdered his mentor, Klingferm, before they had a chance to meet. (In their organisation, members only meet face to face if an extremely serious situation is at hand, such as imminent nuclear war). Klingferm was killed after riding a sabotaged elevator which shot him out through the roof.

Harry follows clues left by Klingferm, in the process earning the suspicions of the local police, led by the irate Captain Zuccho. A clue left by Klingferm instructs him to go to Vienna. Along the way, his investigation leads him through numerous facets of Europe's incompetent new society. Harry is eventually arrested and placed in jail, but soon manages to get himself released. He is being followed by Klingferm's killer, who plants false evidence on him linking him to the murder of a senior politician, but the police destroy all this evidence themselves.

Against all odds, however, Harry finally meets up with Twinkle, an extremely old bunny girl (who happens to be male), who tells him a locker number, which he has forgotten and gives Harry many variants. Afterwards, Harry is attacked by hired thug Wolfie and taken to the murderer, who turns out to be Klingferm himself. Klingferm is an undercover American agent attempting to stop the United States of Europe from ever becoming a potent global force. Klingferm traps Harry in a sabotaged roller coaster, but Harry is able to fatally shoot Klingferm before it activates. Captain Zuccho, having tracked Harry for most of the book, arrives and rescues him. The story ends with Harry, as it began, being subjected to poor piloting of an aeroplane.

Characters

See also

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