List of Muppets Tonight episodes

This is a list of episodes for the live-action puppet-actor television series Muppets Tonight which ran from March 8, 1996 to February 8, 1998.

Episode list

Season one (1996)

#	Title	Directed by	Written by	Airdate
1	"Michelle Pfeiffer"	Gary Halvorson	Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Kirk Thatcher & Patric Verrone	March 8, 1996
The show opens with Kermit welcoming the Muppets to their new TV studio. Gonzo The Great is reading out their new TV schedule, when they discover that there is nothing scheduled for that night. Kermit says that they have to put together a show, but no-one wants to host it. Clifford, who is on the phone in a corner of the room and has missed all the commotion, is chosen to host the show. Owing to the short notice, the organizing is very haphazard. They have no acts booked, and have to find them at the last minute. They have to make do with a troupe of dancing cheeses, which doesn't suit Clifford. He wants a big name guest star. Miss Piggy agrees to be the guest star, in exchange for Clifford giving her bumbling nephews, Andy and Randy, a job on the show. Kermit, meanwhile, has roped in Michelle Pfeiffer to be the guest star. Clifford seems to forget about Miss Piggy, only remembering when Rizzo tells him that they now have two guest stars. They spend the rest of the show trying to keep Miss Piggy and Michelle apart. It doesn't work, and the two rivals end up singing the closing number- excerpts from The Sound of Music" - together. Sketches include "Muppet Match-Up", a blind date show, supposedly from 1975, with Michelle Pfeiffer as the bachelorette, who ends up dating Bachelor No.3 (Animal) - he leaves her no option! The show also includes "Great Moments In Elvis History"- three Muppet caricatures of Elvis Presley re-enact the signing of the Declaration of Independence, which is interrupted by Benjamin Franklin, who has just discovered electricity. The Elvises take out their electric guitars, and end the sketch with a parody of "Blue Suede Shoes". Miss Piggy also stars in the recurring Baywatch parody sketch, "Bay of Pigswatch", doing her trademark karate chop on flirtatious lifeguard Champ Schwimmer, when he admits he'd rather make out with beach babe Spamela than carry out his life-saving duties. Note: Polly Lobster and Clueless Morgan from Muppet Treasure Island make their first appearance in At the Bar sketch.
2	"Garth Brooks"	Greg V. Fera	Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Kirk Thatcher & Patric Verrone	March 15, 1996
Everyone expects Garth Brooks to sing one of his hit country songs for the show, but he insists in pursuing different styles of music such as Kabuki, the theme song from Fiddler on the Roof and a Tom Jones number.
3	"Billy Crystal"	Gary Halvorson	Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Kirk Thatcher & Patric Verrone	March 22, 1996
The comedian features in parodies of When Harry Met Sally, and City Slickers. We are also introduced to the security guard, Bobo The Bear, who will not let anyone into the studio who is not on his list. He stops Larry King from entering the studio, only to discover that his name is on the list when it's too late. We also see the first episode of "The Eagle's Nest", a political commentary show hosted by Sam Eagle. The first topic is taxes. It doesn't go according to plan, because Sam's guests are Andy and Randy Pig, who fail to understand a word he says. The first episode of "The Tubmans of Porksmouth", a show which follows an obese pig's futile attempts to lose weight, and was only shown in Britain, also aired on this show. Howard Tubman, the main character, tries to lose 200lb in order to claim a fortune left by his deceased Aunt Polly. He fails miserably, but it turns out she wasn't dead after all. A group of jungle animals sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", but are interrupted when the lion in question chases them off the set for disturbing his rest. The closing number is a jazz number performed by Billy Crystal and the entire Muppets Tonight cast, when Billy's all-star band doesn't turn up. We learn that this is because Bobo won't let them in, even though they include President Bill Clinton, President Boris Yeltzin, Clint Eastwood, and even Queen Elizabeth II.
4	"John Goodman"	Greg V. Fera	Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Kirk Thatcher & Patric Verrone	March 29, 1996
John Goodman wants a relaxing show, but any hope of that goes out of the window when Andy and Randy Pig assign themselves to be his personal slaves, after he saves them from being electrocuted. The first episode of "Tales From The Vet", sees Dr. Phil Van Neuter, explaining in song (Thomas Dolby's "She Blinded Me With Science"), how he met his wife, Composta Heap, sister of his assistant, Mulch. Clifford rolls a clip of John Goodman in a Muppet sitcom, supposedly made to commemorate the first landing on the moon, called "The Lunar-Mooners", with Miss Piggy as his wife and Fozzie Bear as his next-door neighbour. Johnny Fiama, a rat-pack singer, attempts to wine and dine a member of the audience, but his assistant picks a woman who doesn't like his music, and consequently it ends in disaster. Later, Andy and Randy Pig give John Goodman a scalp massage using glue, and he finally ends up in a truckload of mousetraps, and in hospital. He still does the closing number, however- Joe Cocker's "Feelin' All Right". Unfortunately, when he goes back to the set of Roseanne, he discovers to his horror that Andy and Randy work on THAT show now.
5	"Cindy Crawford"	Greg V. Fera	Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Kirk Thatcher & Patric Verrone	April 5, 1996
The glamorous supermodel steals Bobo's heart. Rizzo tries unsuccessfully to help him win her. The show also includes a clip from "The Kermit The Frog Club", with a young Cindy as one of the Frogketeers, and an episode of Swift Wits, the fastest game show on TV- the two over-enthusiastic contestants refuse to listen to the host's clues to help them identify the mystery object, and consequently lose the game- Winky, a happy little Beaver, loses his life, as he is devoured by Carl, the Big Mean Bunny. Finally, Bobo interrupts Kermit and Cindy's closing number- "I Remember It Well" from the musical, Gigi-, and finally wins Cindy's heart, and they finish the show in grand style, dancing the tango.
6	"Tony Bennett"	Gary Halvorson	Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Kirk Thatcher & Patric Verrone	April 12, 1996
Guest star Tony Bennet appears on Johnny Fiama's talk show. Tony wants to sing a duet with Johnny, who has idolised him for years, but Johnny is overcome with nerves and faints. Johnny is in a terrible mood afterwards, and cruelly sends his assistant, Sal the Monkey, packing. Sal and Tony discuss how they can make Johnny feel better, and Sal dreams up an idea. Johnny has constructed his own Tony Bennet robot. Unbeknown to Johnny, Sal and Tony remove the robot from its case and Tony stands in its place. Johnny turns the robot on to sing with it instead and finds himself fulfilling his lifelong dream: a duet with the REAL Tony Bennett! They end the show with "Shakin' The Blues Away".
7	"Sandra Bullock"	Gary Halvorson	Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Kirk Thatcher & Patric Verrone	June 23, 1996
Guest star Sandra Bullock. A mad bomber man threatens to bomb the theater unless the Muppets Tonight's rating is 50 or higher. So Andy, Randy, Rizzo, Clifford, and Sandra try to keep the rating up and track the bomber down. They barely manage to keep the ratings up. After the demise of two of their most popular acts, Clifford and Rizzo resort to a series of lower profile acts- Frankie the Yak is pulled from the stage thirty seconds into his polka number, and Johnny Fiama's rendition of "Mack The Knife" is interrupted when a shark charges onto the set, chases him off the stage. Seymour the Elephant and Pepe the Prawn attempt to salvage the situation with a vaudeville comedy number, but no-one in the audience gets the joke. They attempt to explain it using visual aids, but are unsuccessful, and resort to singing the song again- they are dragged off the stage halfway through. Surprisingly, Andy and Randy capture the mad bomber, and, more surprising, it turned out it was Sandra herself, being nervous about the show. In the end, she ends up playing in a one man band after the show. This episode was originally set to air on ABC on April 19, 1996, but executives pulled the episode from TGIF's lineup at the last minute so as not to coincide with the 1st anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing. The episode would have aired that day had it not been about someone making a bomb threat. The episode was reaired in its entirety two months later.
8	"Jason Alexander"	Greg V. Fera	Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Kirk Thatcher & Patric Verrone	June 30, 1996
Gonzo is very excited that his old school chum, Jason Alexander, is starring on the Muppet Show. They agree to perform a medley from their hit musical, "Bats", but things don't go according to plan during the warm-up, and they end up falling out. Jason refuses to work with Gonzo ever again, but Clifford, after a LOT of effort, finally manages to persuade him to reconsider- although even then, he only agrees in order to get "this stupid elephant" (Seymour) off his back! The show also featured a parody of "Agatha Christie's Poirot", with Jason in the title role, and the Muppets mistaking him for Hercules, the Ancient Greek hero, causing him to lose patience and storm out of the carriage, falling off the train in the process. We also see an episode of "Thor: God of Thunder". Thor tries to borrow some books from a library, but fails because he does not have a library card (or, for that matter, any form of I.D.). The scene ends with an inexplicable lightning fight between Thor, and the Greek god Zeus, much to the despair of the long-suffering librarian.
9	"Whoopi Goldberg"	Gary Halvorson	Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Kirk Thatcher & Patric Verrone	July 7, 1996
Whoopi Goldberg is such a big hit with the audience that when Miss Piggy gets lost in the desert, it is decided that Whoopi will perform the closing number instead of her. On hearing this, Miss Piggy redoubles her efforts to return to the studio, and finally storms in midway through "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend". They finish the song together. We also see a courtroom sketch involving Whoopi Goldberg as the Plaintiff, and Miss Piggy as the Defendant- Miss Piggy loses the case and is dragged off stage. Whoopi teaches a group of rats how to sing reggae, and they sing "No Woman No Cry". At the end of the show we find miss Piggy in a plane re-enacting a scene from Nightmare at 20,000 Feet where a gremlin has appeared on the airplane's wing. William Shatner is seen sitting next to her shamelesly promoting one of his books as he mentions that he's been complaining about the gremlin for years and nobody is doing anything about it..
10	"Martin Short"	Gary Halvorson	Dick Blasucci, Paul Flaherty, Darin Henry, Jim Lewis, Kirk Thatcher & Patric Verrone	July 14, 1996
Martin Short gets the short end of the shtick when Seymour and Pepe take him on an elevator ride that nearly flattens his chances of performing in the big dance number.

Season two (1997–1998)

#	Title	Directed by	Written by	Airdate
11	"The Artist Formerly Known As Prince"	TBA	TBA	September 13, 1997
The Artist Formerly Known As Prince comes to guest star and gives some song suggestions.
12	"Rick Moranis"	TBA	TBA	September 14, 1997
Rick Moranis is doing a medley on the show, but gets interrupted when he helps Seymour and Pepe with a cooking show.
13	"Heather Locklear"	TBA	TBA	September 21, 1997
Heather Locklear assures the Muppets she is perfectly normal. But when she eats some experimental food from Bunsen and Beaker, things go crazy.
14	"Pierce Brosnan"	TBA	TBA	October 12, 1997
Pierce Brosnan doesn't seem to be a smooth as his character James Bond. He's going to leave the show, until the Rock Lobsters come to take over the show.
15	"Coolio & Don Rickles"	TBA	TBA	October 19, 1997
An un-cultured CEO buys Muppets Tonight, and makes too many changes, causing Kermit to quit.
16	"Paula Abdul"	TBA	TBA	November 2, 1997
Paula Abdul guest stars, but it's not normal. An Abraham Lincoln robot comes and is out of control. Meanwhile, Clifford will do anything to get a kiss from Paula. Note: Polly Lobster and Clueless Morgan from Muppet Treasure Island made their last appearance in At the Bar sketch.
17	"Dennis Quaid"	TBA	TBA	November 16, 1997
Clifford feels unappreciated when Dennis comes along and makes everyone else happy. Meanwhile, Kermit goes on a date with the winner of a sweepstakes. The good news: it's not Miss Piggy. The bad news: it's a very annoying Gilbert Gottfried.
18	"The Cameo Show"	TBA	TBA	December 7, 1997
When Bobo "kills" Arsenio Hall (who was to be their guest star) it's up to the Muppets to find a new guest star.
19	"The Best of Muppets Tonight"	TBA	TBA	December 28, 1997
Gonzo and Rizzo host this week's show giving some of the best segments from the show.
20	"The Gary Cahuenga Show"	TBA	TBA	September 13, 1997
Clifford and Rizzo find a ventriloquist dummy in the studio basement named Gary Cahuenga. But his ventriloquist is long dead and Gary must find out what to do in this strange new world.
21	"Andie MacDowell"	TBA	TBA	January 4, 1998
After Beaker goes on vacation, Bunsen feels like he needs to change his image and seeks the help of Johnny Fiama. And meanwhile, on his Star Trek vacation, Beaker meets George Takei who talks to him for hours.
22	"Johnny Fiama Leaves Home"	TBA	TBA	February 8, 1998
After Johnny's mother throws a date out of his house, Johnny moves out.