List of Squidbillies characters

This is a list of characters on the Adult Swim animated television series, Squidbillies.

The Cuyler family

Early Cuyler

Voiced by Unknown Hinson, Early is the son of Granny and father of Rusty. Early is an illiterate, foul-mouthed, alcoholic ex-convict. He's also quick to anger, often expressing it in violent ways via sawed-off shotgun, knife, or whatever implement is lying around. This is likely so due to the abuse he himself suffered through the hands of his father (and possible incestuous grandfather) GaGa Pee Pap, and his insecurities he developed in prison regarding his masculinity. Early was given the position of CEO—and scapegoat—at Dan Halen Sheetrock, Inc, though he has since been relegated to various lower level positions including product tester. He runs a number of illegal home enterprises including the production of "pine cone liquor", the cultivation and distribution of marijuana, as well as production and sale of methamphetamine. It has been implied several times that he has an incestuous relationship with his sister, Lil (apparently without her consent, as she appears passed out in each instance). It is implied that Early was raped in prison in the episode,"The Big Gay Throwdown". Early is proud of his "hillbilly" lifestyle and enjoys hunting, fishing, "fruggin'" ("frogging," i.e., frog gigging), watching mixed martial arts, drinking "Party Liquor" (a myriad of intoxicating and potentially lethal "beverages"), and NASCAR. Early also wears several different trucker hats, each with some form of joke or sexual remark. The hat he is mostly seen wearing is his "Booty Hunter" hat (shown in the highest number of episodes, as well as nearly all promotional material), which appears to serve as his default choice of headwear. He's also commonly seen wearing a "Free Hat Limit 1" hat as well. He is depicted as an enthusiastic Georgia Bulldogs football fan, as are most of the show's characters.

Rusty Cuyler

Voiced by Daniel McDevitt, Rusty Cuyler is the hybrid son of Early and Krystal, grandson of Granny and Ga Ga Pee Pap. He is a dimwitted, childish, backwoods young squid. He seeks his father's approval in nearly everything he does, going out of his way to emulate and impress him. He has a better sense of morals than the rest of his family and will occasionally show compassion. Like his father, he exhibits stereotypical redneck interests and behavior. He is not, however, as naturally violent as his father, and often fails in his attempts to mimic Early's overtly prejudiced and myopic view of the world. Rusty exhibits facial similarities to the stereotypical redneck male: bad teeth, acne, and a mullet. He lost his virginity to his Uncle's wife in "Not Without My Cash Cow". "Russel Jesse James Kenny the Gambler Rogers #3 The Intimidator Dale (uh) Earnhardt Kenny the Gambler Rogers America's #1 Cuyler" is his full government name (Not Without My Cash Cow).

Ruby Jean "Granny" Cuyler

Voiced by Dana Snyder, Granny is an elderly squid, who hangs from a walker, and is the grandmother of Early and Lil; however, season six hints that she may in fact be their mother as well, due to an incestuous tryst with Early's father GaGa Pee Pap. For unexplained reasons, she is purple (in contrast to the rest of the family's green), and has only five tentacles. Granny is a devout Christian and regularly sees visions of "Squid Jesus", though like the rest of her family she does not shy away from violence or foul language. She is a skilled welder as revealed in the episode "Condition: Demolition." Granny is also multilingual, as she is shown speaking Arabic in "America: Why I Love Her" as well as Spanish in "Asses to Ashes, Sluts to Dust". She is prone to becoming confused about her current situation and whereabouts due to her extreme senile dementia. Granny is also a nymphomaniac who propositions most of the series' characters for sex at one point or another. It is also implied that she has an incestuous relationship with Lil (also apparently without consent), and has encouraged Rusty to scratch her genitalia. She suffers from various health problems, including a failing gallbladder, but cannot seem to die (this may be due to her repeated attempts to hit-on Squid Jesus, who at one point was even shown ordering angels to restore her to life just so he wouldn't have to deal with her or her unwanted advances). She is apparently a published author, her book "E Is for Equine" making a brief appearance in episode five of season two. In "Holodeck Redneck", her holographic fantasy she kills herself with a shotgun and is buried in the cemetery. It is also a likely inference from this episode that she too was raised by her grandmother (her "mammy"), implying a family cycle.

Lil Cuyler

Voiced by Patricia French, Lil is Granny's granddaughter and Early's sister, cosmetically challenged Lil wears Caucasian flesh-colored eye-shadow and extremely long fake finger nails on her tentacles (she also possesses a pair of nipple-less breasts, which Rusty, and viewers as well, assumed was her chin until it was pointed out to him in "Clowny Freaks"). She has dark blue-green colored skin. Her last name is confirmed to be Cuyler in the episode "Mephistopheles Traveled Below to a Southern State Whose Motto is 'Wisdom, Justice, and Moderation'". With a raspy voice often punctuated by a nasty smoker's cough, Lil' is a worn-out and rather jaded squid. She runs an on and off crystal meth and marijuana operation, and is a known user of her own products. It is revealed that cigarette smoke has replaced most of the blood in her veins; and that she also suffers from Hepatitis D. She is frequently seen passed out in her own filth and/or vomit; likely a victim of drug-induced burnout; however the fifth-season premiere shows this to be a ruse, with Lil using her periods of burnout as a decoy to prevent anyone from detecting her underground drug operation, which she dictates through a hole in their home's floor. During the time of her extended unconsciousness, she was married to an ultra-violent (even more than Early), America-hating extraterrestrial character named Lerm who decapitated her seconds after the marriage. She is shown to be having Aqua Blue eyeshadow and a blond wig with curls similar to Hedwig Schmidt from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which the creators admitted they are huge fans of. She can speak broken Spanish (a skill she uses in her marijuna growing operation. She is also truck stop prostitute (she admitted to being one in the episodes "The Good One" and "Clowny Freaks") and doesn't use protection (claiming her trucker clients don't like to use condoms) which resulted in her giving birth to several children in "The Good One", one of whom Early becomes attached to and later named Herschel Walker Cuyler Them Dawgs Is Hell Don't They (the rest of Herschel's brothers and sisters ended up being raised by Rusty). In "Clowny Freaks", she is also shown to prostitute herself at a child's birthday party (along with Granny) and even provided her services to the local carnival sideshow freaks when the trucker money dried up (it is also indicated by a comment made by Early that this may be another form of income for the Cuyler family, along with their drug operations, and Early's job working for Dan Halen). In "Green and Sober", with help from the Sheriff she gets sober and moves out of the Cuyler home and gets a job supplying ink for the tattoo parlor.

Krystal

Voiced by Mary Kraft, Krystal is Rusty's birth mother, a morbidly obese Caucasian woman who lives her life lying on a filthy junkyard mattress, where she had been deemed a local landmark and given "squatter's rights" to the location. She spends most of her time drinking from a re-usable over-sized "Sip" convenience store cup and scratching lottery tickets. She has an extremely low and long-winded voice, speaking in a perpetual slur. Her extraordinarily promiscuous lifestyle (including having sex with Charlie Sheen and all of the members of .38 Special) caused problems during her brief marriage to Early. She had a Siamese-twin (who had apparently become trapped in Krystal's fat folds) named Amber Jean (making her Rusty's aunt), but she had her removed (and possibly killed, as the doctor used a katana) in "Krystal, Light". She also has a tramp stamp, a "tribute to our fallen heroes of 9/11", which the tattoo artist confused as being a tribute to the band 311. After being informed of the permanent mistake, she displayed ambivalence apropos of the character.

Tammi

Voiced by Elizabeth Cook and introduced in sixth season, Tammi is Rusty's girlfriend with whom he had a baby. Tammi is also revealed to be Krystal's daughter, and thus making them half-siblings. She also has a dislike for Early for his attempt to break them up, followed by his murder attempt on her that had him in jail until released about the time she gave birth to Rusty's apparent illegitimate son at the start of the seventh season. But the two quickly broke up as Tammi decided she had to do what was best for the child. While Granny and Early were happy for him, both strictly believe the baby isn't Rusty's as he doesn't have any squid traits. Until he falls in the lake and starts to swim underwater with tentacles that appear from under his diaper.

Others

• Ga Ga Pee Pap "12 Gun" Cuyler - (Jesco White) - Early's & Lil's father, who may in fact also be their grandfather; due to an incestuous relationship with Granny, before running off with another woman. His and young Early's relationship is similar to that of Early and Rusty's abusive relationship. Like his son, he is an incompetent criminal, abusive parental figure, womanizer (though with more success than Early), and general nuisance to the citizens of Dougal County.
• Derwood - Derwood is the brother to Lil and Early and uncle to Rusty. He received his GED, then immediately left Dougal County in search of an urban lifestyle. He is married to a Caucasian woman and has two children (Parker and Posey) with her. He is embarrassed by his redneck relatives, and wears foundation and clothing to appear more like a human, despite the fact that he's physically built more similarly to an aquatic squid than any of the others. Like the Cuylers however, he is unemployed (despite the pretense of an accounting job) and is not above defrauding the government for child welfare money. It is also implied that he is a closeted homosexual, as he is seen in an all-male strip club when he claimed he was going to work. But when he walked in on his wife after having sex with Rusty, he was completely shocked. And was shown to be very hurt by her infidelity, repeatedly calling her a "whore".
• Uncle Shannon - Briefly mentioned and appears at the beginning "Webnecks". Was deep-fried by Early while hiding with the rest of the Cuyler clan in a their septic tank (used as a makeshift Y2K fallout shelter) and later eaten by Early and the rest of the Cuyler family. Like Derwood, his last name, as well as the exact nature of his relation to the Cuylers, has not been explained.
• Herschel Walker Cuyler - The infant son of Lil, bearing resemblance to Early, mimicking his actions and attitude (and as a result Early considers Herschel to be his surrogate-son, favor him over Rusty). He appears in the episode "The Good One". Herschel later abandons an injured Early, and hasn't been seen since. His full name is "Herschel Walker Cuyler Them Dogs Is Hell Don't They." He is named for Georgia's Heisman Trophy winning halfback Herschel Walker

Other Dougal county residents

The Sheriff

Originally voiced by Charles Napier, until Bobby Ellerbee took over the role in "Butt Trouble", the Sheriff appears in virtually every episode. The Sheriff is a friendly, even sweet man. He has a close, amicable relationship with the Cuyler family despite—or perhaps because of—having had to arrest Early repeatedly. Most of his role as Sheriff revolves around protecting the Cuyler family from their own destructive tendencies, as he has a sworn duty to preserve the last specimens of the "Appalachian mud Squid", so that further generations can appreciate "whatever it is they do". He is presented as a chain smoker and in real life, Ellerbee actually is too. Aside from his official duties, The Sheriff seems to really care about Early, going so far as to arrange couple's therapy for himself and his troubled squid friend. From time to time, Sheriff has appeared naked, in a Speedo, in a ballerina dress and in drag.

In episode "Survival of the Dumbest", the Sheriff reveals to Rusty that the Dougal County Sheriff's office is a front for the "Serpents in the Round", a shadow government run by Dan Halen and that The Sheriff is revealed to be one of multiple clones grown in man-stalks (similar to corn or bean stalks) capable of producing a battalion of nicotine-addicted super warriors with marginal strength and hyper-sensitivity to pain (though most resemble the Sheriff, others like Deputy Denny are shown to be stunted and malformed, while another from "Big Gay Throwdown" was shown to be a monstrous fanged brute). After revealing this to Rusty, The Sheriff realizing he had said too much tried to use a "mind worm" (his last remaining worm) on Rusty, however Rusty promised not to tell anyone about it, so the Sheriff allowed Rusty to leave without using the mind worm on him (however despite Rusty's promise not to tell, at some point before "Big Gay Throwdown" Early learned the existence of the Sheriff cloning field possibly from Rusty, the Sheriff, and/or one of his replacements.)

In the "Big Gay Throwdown", it is revealed that the acting Sheriff in the episode is a homosexual who was possessed by a homosexual demon. After the demon is removed, The Gay Sheriff decides to move away to another state with a gay man he met at the throwdown (forcing the Cuylers to find a heterosexual replacement from the cloning farm).

The Sheriff being cloned by Dan Halen, is possibly due to him being maimed and killed constantly by the actions of Early and the Cuyler clan (and/or due to Dan Halen's tendency to replace opponents to his authority with a somewhat more obedient clone). They also provide Dan Halen (and Dougal County) with a somewhat cheap (as he may not have to pay them) and expendable police force which he has control over.

The clones are grown in a corn field and during the first season a few of them are shown fighting over the position of the role of Sheriff. In more recent seasons, the normal clones (along with the diminutive clone Deputy Denny) have been shown working as deputies under a main Sheriff. Dan Halen (as well as the people of Dougal County) appear to tolerate this arrangement as it provides him and Dougal County with a larger police force. This also appears to be a historic arrangement, as several Sheriff clones where shown to be working for Dougal county sheriff's office during GaGa Pee Pap Cuyler's crime spree (it is possible that the number of clones actively working for the Dougal county Sheriff's office may have varied over the years).

The Cuylers are fully aware of the existence of the clone farm, but usually pay little attention to it (likely due to ignorance or simply viewing it as one of the facts of life in Dougal County). Due to having known the Sheriff a long time, it is likely Early has become accustomed to The Sheriff being replaced every time he ends up being maimed or killed.

In "Trucked Up", it was revealed that his real name IS Sharif.

In later seasons, the Sheriff's clone background has become largely de-emphasized, if not outright abandoned. Seasons 8 and 9 expand on the Sheriff's formative years: showing him as a child, introducing his father (also a sheriff), and reintroducing his mother (who was first depicted in the episode "Government Brain Voodoo Trouble.")

Deputy Denny

Voiced by Dave Willis, Denny is a clone of the Sheriff (albeit a tiny, malformed clone) that briefly served as the sheriff when the Sheriff asked Dan Halen to stop melting the flesh off the residents of the county during the season 3 episode "Sharif." He has poor impulse control, a large dent in his head, and was apparently replaced shortly after by another, more physically accurate clone. He has since been seen helping the sheriff with his law enforcement duties, by acting as his deputy. In season 5, he still serves as The Sheriff's main deputy along with several other normal Sheriff clones (basically making the Dougal County Sheriff's Office a police force made entirely of Sheriff clones). In some episodes, Denny is shown to be slightly more intelligent than the Sheriff especially when it comes to detective work such as investigating incidents involving the Cuyler family and is somewhat better at seeing though the Early's lies. In "Beware the Butt-Cutter", Denny deduces that Dan Halen was the Butt-Cutter serial killer despite his efforts to frame Early as the Butt-Cutter, but is stopped from arresting Halen by The Sheriff who reminds Denny that Halen is their boss.

Denny also is known to be a party disc jockey, known by the stage name of "DJ DEN-E" (Season 7 Episode 6).

Dan Halen

Voiced by Todd Hanson, Dan Halen is a small, pear-shaped, knee-less, hedgehog-like business tycoon (appears as a sasqautch) and the main antagonist. He is the incarnation of evil who has lived since the beginning of time, and personally controls almost every aspect of Dougal County (as well as most of Northern Georgia). He is in charge of Dan Halen Sheetrock International, a multinational corporation responsible for sheet rock, "dangerous" (rather than simply unsafe) baby furniture, selling arms to third world countries, several dangerous body sprays (one of which caused painful burning/swelling, another which could dissolve flesh on contact, and another which caused mass hallucination), and various other ventures. His name, hairstyle, and company symbol are direct references to the band Van Halen. He tolerates the presence of the Cuyler family for reasons unknown, frequently involving them in his bizarre moneymaking schemes, and currently employs the grossly incompetent Early as CEO of Dan Halen Int'l for purposes of limiting his own legal liability as a result of his often disastrous and homicidal business ideas. The Cuyler family have, on several occasions, opposed him (at one point even suing him), however despite this he doesn't bother with replacing them or eliminating them (one possible reason is that he views them as too stupid to be of any threat to him). Another reason he tolerates their existence is that their tendency to cause mayhem, disorder, and/or be a general public nuisance to the people of Dougal County, which may serve as a distraction to the local people from Dan Halen's own more dangerous and down right evil schemes and illegal activities. The Cuylers may also serve as convenient scapegoats. He has also from time to time stolen some of Cuylers' money making schemes as well as marketing products the Cuylers have made such as turning their homemade moonshine into the beverage "Glug" (possibly using them as cheap source of ideas for products he can market to the citizens of Dougal County, minorities, and/or people who just as ignorant as the Cuylers themselves). He has also employed the Cuyler family on several occasions as product testers, workers, and test subjects (often having them perform jobs that are dangerous, potentially lethal, and/or a health risk), using them basically as expendable and cheap labor force.

In "Survival of the Dumbest", it is revealed that Dan Halen runs a shadow government called "The Serpents in the Round" and one of its many fronts is the Dougal County Sheriff's office. The Serpents in the Round is also responsible for creating and maintaining of the Sheriff's cloning farm. It can be assumed that Dan Halen controls most of Dougal County via this shadow government.

He controls Dougal County mainly through manipulation. In "Young, Dumb and Full of Gums," Dan Halen whips everyone in Dougal County into a frenzy by telling them Barack "Hussein" Obama is putting "Fluoride" in the water supply to sterilize the town, despite the fact that Fluoride is there to prevent tooth decay). He also appears to have control over the local media as well (possibly the national media as well) as shown in "Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan Halen" when a news magazine reporter interviews and profiles Dan Halen. When the female news reporter tries to confront him about his past (such as his involvement with the Nazi Party or in the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ) and the fact that he is the immortal embodiment of evil who has lived since the beginning of time (he is even implied to have caused the extinction of the dinosaurs), he kills her and she is replaced by one of the reporter's several clones (one that is more Dan Halen friendly). In "Pile M for Murder", he is implied to be a demonic being of some kind (briefly growing a lion's tail and horn) and hearing a disembodied voice (voiced by Riley Martin) telling him to build "Mount Murder". He also transforms into a fully demonic ceature after Dougal County's zone board (which consists of Early, Byod, and the Sheriff) approve Halen's plan, flies off spewing blood and leaving a trail of hellfire in his wake. He has even been seen interacting with Satan.

Despite being one of the more (if not the most) intelligent beings in Dougal County, his plans and business ventures occasionally backfire (like in "Pile M for Murder") like in "Young, Dumb and Full of Gums" when his other business ventures (those relating to products that require chewing) suffered when most of the population of Dougal County (save The Sheriff & Rusty and a few others) lost their teeth due to the lack of fluoride in their drinking water (a direct result of his own actions and inaction). He is also at times shown (despite his intelligence) to be as ignorant as the rest of the population of Dougal County, his ignorance usually revolves around his lack of understanding science (which he refers to as a "cheap whore") and its limitations such as in "Webnecks" it is shown he had been trying to create artificial diamonds (to replace his teeth with diamonds in order to obtain "street cred") by indiscriminately smashing coal (creating nothing but hazardous coal dust), only to be corrected by a self-aware computer that heat & pressure are required to make diamonds. His greed has even led him to being killed by his own cornzu creation in "Mud Dazed and Confused", with the Sheriff, a character who is frequently killed, ironically surviving the entire episode albeit with a corn tattoo on his cheek he was told was temporary. In the episode "Gimmicky Magazine Show", Dan Halen is criticized for his industrial powered hair drier that runs on "clean burning Styrofoam". In "Class of '86", he is shot to death by the Sheriff at their Class reunion, whom Halen has bullied and abused throughout high school and most of his life.

Despite his control of Dougal County and its citizens, several of them (such as The Sheriff, Rusty, Lil, the Doctor, and the Reverend) have questioned both his authority and his plans at various times (usually for reasons involving either morality, public safety/welfare, or logical), however Dan Halen usually manages to convince them they are wrong/mistaken through either some form of trickery or removing (either demoting or killing) them (in the case of the Sheriff and the news reporter from "Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan Halen", replacing them with a more obedient clone). He has also had his plans to capture Deep Fried Pine Booby thwarted by an advanced robotic decoy created by a militia of highly intelligent Pine Boobys who left Dan Halen, The Sheriff, Early and Rusty (who came to rescue the decoy they thought was real) tied up in Dan Halen's burning factory.

In "God’s Bro", his elderly wheelchair bound mother is briefly seen as he pushes her into a black hole (claiming it's a rest home) never to be seen again. She is also voiced by Todd Hanson (possessing the same voice as Dan Halen) and only has one line (commenting "It's dark in there," referring to the black hole). His mother is the only member of Dan Halen's family to appear so far.

Reverend

Voiced by Scott Hilley, Reverend is a blue preacher shaped like an obese teardrop and clad in a purple stole vestment. He presides over the church the Cuyler family and the sheriff attend, and also owns the local mattress store where Early was previously employed. He is fearful of the Cuylers, questioning where they fit in "God's plan." He is a figure of religious hypocrisy because of his regular moral crises and occasional submission to temptation. In one episode he didn't get admitted to Heaven (despite the admittance of nearly every other resident of Dougal County) prompting the question of whether he is a true Christian. Another case where he questioned his faith was in "God's Bro", when God's step-brother appears and reveals that he is not their God but his step-brother after God's father got divorced twice, he tried finding an answer in his bible, but after skimming through and finding no answers he fell down and began to wail. Along with his religious hypocrisy, he is also religiously intolerant of things he views as wrong (Harry Potter books & movies, Halloween, scientific experiments, and the selling of liquor on Sundays), though he has been shown to support abortion (when he wanted to destroy squid eggs laid by Rusty via asexual reproduction in "Butt Trouble") and the death penalty when it involved a member of the Cuyler clan (whom he refers to as "Nothing but a bunch of thieving drunks!"). His hatred of the Cuylers may be due to Early's grandfather, Ga Ga Pee Pap's theft of the Reverend's prized Clay Aiken CD box set. This was the Reverend's main reason for supporting his execution (despite the fact Ga Ga Pee Pap had never killed anyone or done anything to deserve the death penalty) in the episode "Dead Squid Walking." When questioned by Rusty over the apparent hypocrisy of his position, he tries to use made up and misquoted biblical texts to justify his position, but gives up when Rusty brings up the commandment "Thou Shalt Not Kill" and angrily reveals his desire for Ga Ga Pee Pap to die for stealing from him.

Others

• Boyd (Pete Smith) - The elderly, bearded clerk of the town convenience store. Early has robbed and shot him on numerous occasions, with Boyd aware the entire time who he is, but is too compliant to stop him. Despite being robbed constanting by Early, Boyd is friendly towards him. In "Crystal, Light" he even suggests Early take all his scratch-off tickets instead of picking only a few tickets to steal. In "Pile M for Murder", he is shown to be a member of the Dougal County zoning board along with Early and The Sheriff. In the "Velvet Messiah", it is revealed Boyd has a wife who he is apparently unable to satisfy anymore. His left hand being shot off is one of the series' running gags.
• Glenn (Dave Willis) - An employee at Dan Halen Industries. He is often assaulted by Early at work or at home. He is very protective of his wife whom Early often stalks and tries to seduce. In "Pile M for Murder" it is shown that he gets along with his boss Dan Halen, even tolerating and supportive of his boss murderous tendencies. In the Adultswim.com exclusive episode "Glenn's Revenge", his character is expanded upon considerably. It's revealed Glenn harbors a rivalry against Early, he's not well-known around the office (with another employee saying he's met him a dozen times and still doesn't know what his name is), he has a penchant for playing video games and smarting off at ten-year-olds, he watches TV and eats ice cream when he's rejected by his wife (also providing the first front-direct shot of him in the series), he can bore even the amicable Sheriff (providing also the first time the Sheriff has had major interaction with him), he's 41 years old, he had a Space Ghost lunchbox (that his mother said grew legs and ran away). In "Government Brain Voodoo Trouble (S02E01)", Glenn portrays a "Therapist" to smooth out problems between Early and the Sheriff. But Glenn later reveals that he's not a "Therapist" at all. The sign on the door actually says, "The Rapist". Glenn states he uses the office as a location where he can pursue BDSM fantasies and other sexual pursuits as well as being a tax write-off. However given "The Rapist" has a different voice actor (Jonathan Katz in an uncredited role) it is possible that they are separate characters who share the same character design and/or are relatives.
• Glenn's Wife (Dana Swanson) - Glenn's blonde-haired wife. She has been repeatedly stalked by Early (and even Rusty on one occasion). Though she tells Glenn she isn't interested in Early, at one point as Early and Rusty were leaving her and Glenn's house after having rung their doorbell till it broke, she is heard saying "Call Me." from her window to Early and Rusty (hinting at the possibility she is unfaithful or secretly likes the idea of being stalked). In the episode "Asbestos I Can", Glenn's wife actually gives Early "oral sex" by sucking two of his toes, one which may be an unused second penis (see episode "Frivolacious Squidigation"), when Early convinces everyone he is terminally ill. Glenn's wife has an exact lookalike who is married to a regular background character, first seen in "Take This Job and Love It," and they have been routinely spotted together in multiple episodes, and every season, since. Whether this is yet another example of a Dougal County clone, or a twin sister, or Glenn's-Wife herself living a double life, has never been clarified. Early refers to one of these women as "Donna" in the episode, "Office Politics Trouble." Yet again, whether this character is actually Glenn's Wife, was not clarified.
• Snakeman - A giant snake like creature with a Mullet. He is often depicted devouring townsfolk. He is also one of Krystal's lovers and the two are often seen together in the outhouse next to her mattress. He never talks. He was involved in the three-way with Early and Crystal which lead to Rusty's conception (interestingly Rusty's hair and skin coloration match that of Snakeman's).
• Dr. Bug (Todd Barry) - A large squid who works as a doctor at the local hospital, Dr. Bug is the abandoned son or grandson (the nature his blood relationship to her has been confirmed, but never specified) of Granny Cuyler, but he takes great pains to hide it and to distance himself from the family. Thinking she was on her death bed while hospitalized, Granny tells him that she "never meant to flush him down the toilet" and that he was "always her favorite".[7] Apparently in grudging recognition of this family connection, he then surreptitiously offers to donate his gallbladder to save Granny's life. A similar character named Bug (an acronym for Big Uncle Grandpa) appeared in original pilot scripts.
• Ellis (Dave Willis) - A bartender at The Jiggle Hut, a strip club Early frequently goes to. He wears a mesh wife-beater, and has the duty of escorting Early out of The Jiggle Hut on many of Early's appearances there. Ellis on occasion will pole dance in place of the girls during extreme weather events when the girls cannot make it to work (See episode "Snow Daddy"). Ellis is shown to be very aggressive and is one of the few townspeople to physically stand up to Early in his rages, but still is often greatly injured in fighting back.
• Doctor (Brendon Small) - A doctor who appears to be completely incompetent as such, since he frequently cannot conjure up the correct medical terminology to describe his patients' illnesses or the necessary treatment, and may suffer from a type of mental illness (he acts bizarrely and often says irrelevant things). He also often behaves irrationally, such as dousing himself with gasoline and setting himself aflame for no apparent reason (he was trying to have some common ground with a burned Granny after she chose to get planet-size breast implants), and can be cruel, intentionally or otherwise, to his injured patients (he pokes and tears at Granny's burned flesh while in I.C.U., which gives him much pleasure). He has even once hinted that he may not even a licensed doctor (which is likely given his lack of medical knowledge and questionable practices). In "Crystal, Light", he is even shown to be willing to perform surgical procedures which would easily result in his patient's death, like drilling a hole in the back of Crystal's head so she would lose weight (knowing full well she would die in two weeks from massive organ failure) or gleefully separating Crystal and her Siamese twin Amber Jean with a Katana (which more than likely killed Crystal's twin sister). On a bump before the 7th season premiere "Rusty and Tammi, Sittin' in a Tree, B-A-S-T-A-R-D", He was officially credited and named as Dr. Donald Cock.

Miscellaneous

• Squid Jesus (Stewart Briehut) - Squid Jesus appears in visions to Granny and, less frequently, Early. He appears as a floating squid with tentacles bearing signs of the stigmata and a human head matching traditional portrayals of Jesus. He appears to be extremely embarrassed by Granny's fervent dedication to him (and disgusted by her infatuation with him), going so far as to suggest she "consider Satan" as a new savior. He may also be the reason Granny is unable to die, at one point even having her restored to life just so he wouldn't have to deal with her. In the "Velvet Messiah", it is revealed that Granny constantly bores Jesus with her rabblings to the point he steals her glasses just to get away from her. Also despite having the body of a squid he is apparently unaware squid don't have bones (God himself points this out to his son) as he started visiting Granny after she supposedly broke her hip.
• God (Larry Munson) - Squid Jesus' father who unlike his son and enemy Satan, appears in the form of a thundercloud as opposed to a Squid. He has a half-brother who appears in the episode "God's Bro". He first appears in the episodes "Armageddon It On!" and later makes a cameo appearance in the "Velvet Messiah".
• God's Brother - God's half-brother who appears in "God's Bro". He appears in the form of an aging biker (although he initially appears as giant head). He possesses godly powers, yet despite this he is irresponsible and immature. When he was younger he considered his brother a nerd and would annoy him while creating the universe. It is implied that he is somewhat jealous of his brother. He ends up destroying the world at the end of "God's Bro" saying, "Why won't you love me, dad!"
• Narrator (Dave Willis) - The narrator, who does not appear in every episode, often makes jokes at the family's expense in a manner similar to the narrator in Dukes of Hazard.
• The Devil (Jim Fortier) - A giant squid with a head of fire and talking snakes for tentacles. He has appeared in Granny's visions and taught Rusty and Early to play the guitar in exchange for their immortal souls. Shawn Coleman performs as Satan's singing voice.
• The Horseman of Pestilence (Riley Martin) - One of the Four Horsemen of the apocalypse who briefly appears in "Armageddon It On!". Despite being one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the Cuyler's are not fazed by his presences and at first they think he is part of US Air Force (after Early suggests the horseman is part of a black ops unit called "Air Horse"). He shows his power by releasing a plague of "scorpions with human faces" and turns water into blood, however to his astonishment and disgust the Cuyler's eat the scorpions and drink the blood. Early and Granny are also unimpressed by him and question why he is even one of the Four Horsemen as he doesn't seem to measure up to the other 3 Horsemen (War, Famine, and Death). Insulted the Horsemen leaves but warns to prepare for the end of days.
• The Mexicans - A group of Spanish-speaking men from Mexico that appears in many episodes. They all have identical faces, but different facial hair. Lil' has been shown employing several of them (all in the nude) to work in her pot growing operation.
• Santa Claus (Dave Willis) - The jolly fat man was kidnapped by Early and ruins Christmas. He later appears alive in well at his home in the North Pole in "Armageddon It On!", where he is briefly shown reading the news of the Rapture, causing him to tell the Elves to stop production of all sex toys and is shown to have a love of guns (and may even be a gun smuggler/arms dealer). When the elves are "chosen" he shoots them while claiming they are all his slaves (it has been previously established in "A Rebel with a Claus" that he exploits the elves for free labor).
• The Judge (Ned Hastings) - The judge of Georgia, and was the judge who handled Early's case when was arrested in Atlanta for beating a baseball player. He is a southern judge and dismissed all charges against Early due to defence of "the SumBitch looked at me crossways" because of the show's portrayal of the South as being still very backwards in both legality and social more.
• Legless Drifter - A Legless Drifter who claimed to be actor Patrick Swayze. He appears in the episode "Swayze Crazy" helping The Sheriff remodel the local jail when he is introduced to the Cuylers who are big fans of the movie Roadhouse. However, when the real Patrick Swayze comes to town it would be apparent to almost anyone that the drifter is not Patrick Swayze, except Early, Granny, and the Sheriff (Rusty being the only one who realizes the truth). As a result, the drifter (to Rusty's horror) easily kills the real Patrick Swayze (the Sheriff in typical fashion does nothing to stop it) and is last seen as he steals a pizza delivery man's vehicle while shouting "Free Car, asshole!". However, despite all this Early still believes the man to be Patrick Swayze. In "Plumber Bubba", the Legless Drifter appears in the audience of the Plumber Bubba comedy show (hinting at the possibility he has taken up residence in Dougal County possibly due to the ignorance of the local town folk).
• Plumber Bubba (Dave Willis) - A comedian that Early is a big fan of (a play on Larry the Cable Guy). All of his jokes end with him saying "Do it to it!" He turned out to be an alien named Plu'mer Bu-Ba (from the planet A-la Ba-ma) who disguised himself as a human and he and his Elders came to earth to steal the brains of his supposedly intelligent fans (though it is later revealed that one of the Elders chose the south because he liked the southern food and folk art) in order to use their "intello-secretions" to create weapons capable of destroying all matter and time, leaving behind only Memorial Day Weekend. He died from a lack of "space fluids", an apparently addictive substance which Granny took for herself. Plu'mer Bu-Ba is known for his famous backwoods fighting smack talk of "you testing me? And I'm about to pass, when I whoop that ass!" (See episode "Bubba Trubba").
• Melissa - A news reporter who interviewed Dan Halen. When the interview took a turn unfavorable to Halen, she was killed and replaced with a more accommodating clone. She is one of the few number of people shown to have been cloned by Dan Halen along with The Sheriff. She shares the same design as Glenn's Wife (albeit with brown hair).
• Thunderclap (Mick Foley) - A professional wrestler who Early and Granny found living in seclusion on a nearby mountain. According to him, he left professional wrestling because he accidental tagged his tag team partner too hard, which resulted in him losing his title belt, and his wife divorced him and took custody of their two children. However both Early and Granny point out it was also because he lost every single fight (even listing the names of various wrestlers Thunderclap lost to, which angers Thunderclap who challenges Early. Early is beaten up by Thunderclap (and shoved Granny up his anus), forcing Rusty to fight Thunderclap in a match to reclaim his families honor. Thunderclap is later ripped apart (along with the Sheriff who was acting as ref) by a steroid-enhanced Rusty. Despite this, doctors were able to stitch him back together, however with his head attached to his arm which was attached to his crouch making him unable to intercourse with a woman again. This caused him to seek revenge on Rusty (who was in court over his steroid abuse) with a steel chair, only for the super strong Rusty to throw a desk on top on Thunderclap (likely killing him).
• Billy Morton - An armless and legless young boy who is also the captain the local high school football team. His father gave him two, two-by-four wooden boards as replacement legs, and two tree limbs as arms. In the episode "Velvet Messiah", Early, posing as Jesus Christ, attempts to "heal" him by smashing a bottle of Thoughtless Gentleman Brand Drinking Whiskey over his head. In "A Jailhouse Divided (S8E5)", Billy seems to have turned to the dark side when he had to serve a court sentence for "arm robbery".

See also

• Squidbillies
• List of Squidbillies episodes

External links

• Squidbillies character guide at Adultswim.com