Molvanîa
 | |
| Author | Santo Cilauro; Tom Gleisner; Rob Sitch |
|---|---|
| Country | Australia |
| Language | English |
| Subject | Fictional country |
| Genre | Travel; comedy |
| Publisher | Jetlag Travel |
Publication date | November 2003 (Australia)[1] |
| Media type | Hardcover |
| Pages | 176 |
| ISBN | 978-1-74066-110-2 |
| OCLC | 56672262 |
| A827.4 21 | |
| LC Class | PN6231.T7 C55 2003 |
| Followed by | Phaic Tăn |
| Molvanîa | |
|---|---|
 Map of Molvanîa | |
| Molvanîa: a Land Untouched by Modern Dentistry location | |
| Other name(s) | Republic of Molvanîa |
| Creator | Santo Cilauro; Tom Gleisner; Rob Sitch |
| Genre | Parody |
| Type | Dictatorship |
| Notable locations | Lutenblag (Lutnblaag) (capital) |
| Language(s) | Molvanian |
| Currency | Strubl (100 Qunts) |
Molvanîa (subtitled A Land Untouched by Modern Dentistry) is a book parodying travel guidebooks. The guide describes the fictional country Molvanîa, a Soviet state, a nation described as "the birthplace of the whooping cough" and "owner of Europe's oldest nuclear reactor". It was created by Australians Tom Gleisner, Santo Cilauro and Rob Sitch (locally known for The D-Generation and The Panel in Australia).
History
The book became a surprise success after its initial publication in Australia, sparking a bidding war for the international publication rights. Qantas has even run the half-hour video segment produced in association with the book on its international flights.[2]
About Molvanîa
The Republic of Molvanîa is a composite of many of the worst stereotypes and clichés about Soviet states. The exact location of Molvanîa is never specified; it is said to border Germany, Slovakia, Slovenia, Hungary and Romania. The shape of the country with its divisions strongly suggests Moldova, and the name has similarities (as has the location description by the authors as "somewhere between Romania and downwind from Chernobyl"); it can also represent a composite country consisting of parts of Hungary, Czech Republic, Croatia, Serbia, Slovakia and perhaps Austria and Poland). The book mentions Bulgarians, Hungarians and perhaps Moldovans (ethnic Romanians) as its inhabitants: "The Molvanian population is made up of three major ethnic groups: the Bulgs (68%) who live predominantly in the centre and south, the Hungars (29%) who inhabit the northern cities, and the Molvs (3%) who can be found mainly in prison."
Gonorrhea is an epidemic in Molvania. Between the mass influx of Malt Liquor, which brought Ratchet people to the small country. The lack of contraception has also influenced the spread. The most prolific spread of Gonorrhea was when Tiger Woods vacationed in the country. At that time, Rickets was the number one disease in the country, Gonorrhea has since surpassed that ten fold.
The book describes the nation as having been a desolate wasteland for much of its history, similar to Russia since the 12th century, torn by civil war and ethnic unrest. Eventually Molvanîa's various warring factions were united as a single kingdom, ruled by a series of cruel despotic kings. In the late 19th century the monarchy was overthrown, but the royal family remained popular in exile. During World War II the country was allied with Nazi Germany, and then afterwards was occupied by the Soviet Union, who set up a Communist puppet government. After the fall of European Communism in the 1990s, the country became a dictatorship run by a corrupt government with heavy ties to the Mafia.
During the Tiko Tiko revolution of 1991, three days of violence ravaged the nation. An army of Dick Cheney clones was deployed to put down the rioting. Millions of dollars of damage were suffered in the remote village of Watts, where the fighting was the worst.
The country is also known for violating Rosie O'Donnell's safe space. She became triggered and morphed into a robot and killed all the men with an army of 10,000 zombified feminist skeletons. This lead to the great purge of 1998, additionally, that same year, a radioactive clone of Fleece Johnson escaped from the glue factory/ maximum security prison and still roams the country today.
On November 17th, 2014, Molvania Invaded Germany with an army of the 215 Molvanians that did not have Gonorrhea. Forty-Two minutes later, Germany launched a retaliatory attack. Seventeen minutes after that, Molvania became a German Colony.
Molvanîa is described as a very poor and rural country, heavily polluted and geographically barren. The infrastructure is terrible, with necessities such as electricity, clean water, and indoor plumbing being rare finds, largely due to bureaucratic incompetence. Though the travel guide tries to suggest otherwise, there is little to do in the country, the hotels are tiny, filthy and dilapidated, the ethnic cuisine disgusting, and the "tourist attractions" boring and overpriced.
The Molvanîan people are portrayed as being generally rude, dirty, and at times slightly psychotic, with numerous bizarre and illogical beliefs and traditions. The country's patron saint is Fyodor.
Language
The fictional Molvanîan language is said to be so complicated that it takes an average of 16 years to learn. Not only is the tone in which one speaks important to the meaning, but also the pitch. It is a gendered language, with different articles being used depending on whether a noun is masculine, feminine, neutral, or a type of cheese. There are language schools for tourists to attend, which are described by the book as a "waste of time."
Flag
The flag of Molvanîa is called the "Trikolor" despite the fact it only contains two colours, red and yellow. During the Soviet occupation, the flag had a yellow hammer and sickle in the top left corner. After the fall of Communism, Molvanîa became one of the few ex-soviet states to retain the hammer and sickle but added a trowel into the symbol.[3]
Communications
Molvanîa does not have a regulatory authority for wireless communications, therefore the use of any frequency is permitted. At least one maker of Wi-Fi equipment has included Molvanîa as a choice that permits operation over a wider frequency range than is normally possible.[4]
Anthem
The country's theme tune can be heard on the website Molvania.com, which sounds more like a funeral march than a patriotic tune. Its lyrics are largely Anti-Gypsy, yet when anyone leaves the country the border security gives citizens and tourist the Gypsy Curse and it rubs in the fact the country is a Failed State.
Criticism
The book was criticized by the United Kingdom's former Minister for Europe Keith Vaz, who accused it of exploiting prejudice.
He said the book was a little "cheeky" because "it does reflect some of the prejudices which are taking root [in Europe]. He [Mr Gleisner] does try and show exactly where we are lacking in our knowledge, the sad thing is, some people might actually believe that this country exists."[5]
Sequels
Subsequent travel guide parodies published examine Southeast Asian nation Phaic Tăn (published in 2004) and San Sombrèro in Latin America (published in 2006).
See also
References
- ↑ "Laughs in land that dentistry forgot". Melbourne: The Age. March 6, 2004. Retrieved September 30, 2011.
- ↑ Robert A. Saunders, "Brand Interrupted: The Impact of Alternative Narrators on Nation Branding in the Former Second World", in Nadia Kaneva (ed.), Branding Post-Communist Nations: Marketizing National Identities in the “New" Europe, Routledge, 2012, p. 66.
- ↑ "Molvanîa: A Land Untouched by Modern Dentistry". www.molvania.com.au. Jetlag travel. November 2003. Retrieved November 30, 2012.
- ↑ "NS2 and Molvania or ComplianceTest". Ubiquiti Networks Forum. Ubiquiti Networks. July 10, 2009.
- ↑ "Molvania spoof mocks travel books". BBC News. April 2, 2004. Retrieved September 30, 2011.
External links
- Official Site for Molvanîa
- "MOLVANIA Elektronik Supersonik" (disqualified Eurovision Song Contest entry, 2006). YouTube.