Monster parents

Monster parents (Japanese: モンスターペアレント, Chinese: 怪獸家長) refer to parents who launch unreasonable requests or complaints to the school, and even give instructions to them in order to turn the tables for their children, even though it means things that are out of the teacher’s work. The phrase originated from Japan and subsequently gained widespread usage in Hong Kong.

Origin

The phrase "monster parent" was originally a Japanese-made English term coined by Japanese educator Yōichi Mukōyama (ja:向山洋一) in 2007.^[1] It was subsequently made widely known in Asia by a TV drama also named Monster Parents in Japan, which was broadcast from 1 July 2008 to 9 September 2008.^[2] By 2011, the phrase had seen widespread usage in Hong Kong as well.^[3]

Hong Kong

Education system

Under the Hong Kong education system, most students are required to attend interviews in order to study in their ideal schools, which means that most schools will select a group of genuinely outstanding interviewees to be their students. Therefore, parents tend to force their children to master different talents because they want to increase their competitiveness and hope to make it easier to get into their ideal school.^[4]

Growing background

As most Hong Kong children under monster parenting are forced to follow tight schedules, they have little time to manage their daily life and routine. Therefore, their parents will take care of their children in an unreasonably high protected way as they do not want their children suffer from any damage or get hurt. Some of the parents will even shirk children’s responsibility to others, for instance, teachers, tutors and other children in same age.

Examples

Due to the indulgence of monster parents, those children usually have a bad behaviour and of a belief that they are right. Moreover, they are self-centred and arrogant. Those children are likely to put the blame on others rather than self reflecting and improving oneself.^[5] For example, when they encounter some difficulties or have argue with their classmates in school, they would simply ask their parents for help no matter who is wrong or right. This indicates that they do not know how to deal with those interpersonal relationship which is basic elements in life especially in the workplace.

Effects on children

Social effects

Monster parents tend to cosset their children by interfering their personal life in every way. Monster parents take way too good care for their children and often ends up with developing them into narcissists and self-regard individuals.^[6] These children would find it difficult to get along and communicate with others in different social groups, as they are too self-contained. These children brought up in monster parenting style would become selfish and may find it hard to accept ideas that are oppose or different from theirs. However, it is essential for children in their developmental process to channel new ideas and improve communication skills.

Psychological effects

Monster parents in Hong Kong focus harshly on their children's academic prospects. They arrange various and sometimes, superfluous extracurricular activities for their children, which may cause their children pressure. Children have to handle workload from school and it may be too intense for them to deal with too many knowledge and skills learning. They would feel depressed and disappointed with themselves if they failed the expectations of their parents. This anxiety may not grow into those kids in the beginning but if they are constantly under high pressure, it may lead them to suicidal approach.^[7]

Consequences

There are foreseeable influences caused by monster parenting style. It may affect children’s academic developments and their future careers as well. With the monster parenting style, it is believed that the parents may have extremely high expectations about their children’s academic achievements. Indeed, children may appear to start feeling the pressure when they start failing to reach the high hopes and expectations of their parents while academic stress arises.^[8] In generally, the lack of independence may influence on the children’s future career as there are no opportunity for them to practice and learn before entering workplaces. So much of how you parent is shaped by how you were parented.^[9] It is reasonable to assume that monster parenting style is a vicious circle, which is a long-term social issue. Parents wield enormous clout in the development of their children as they are the learning targets of them. Parenting patterns are passed down from generation to generation. Thus, excessively protective parenting style may influence more and more generation until there is an alternative parenting style to replace it.

See also

• Helicopter parent, a similar parenting style in the United States

References

1. 教室ツーウェイ, p.9, August 2007 (Japanese)
2. Chan, Oswald. "Japan and Origin of Monster Parents". http://helicopter-parents-and-anxiety.blogspot.hk/2012/12/monster-parents-in-japan.html. External link in |website= (help);
3. "專家之言：強加負面標籤 隨時弄巧反拙 - 香港文匯報". paper.wenweipo.com. Retrieved 2016-03-03.
4. Zhao, Shirley. "Hong Kong parents say pushing children too hard doesn't work". http://www.scmp.com/news/hong-kong/article/1460601/hong-kong-parents-say-pushing-children-too-hard-doesnt-work?page=all. External link in |website= (help);
5. http://christiantimes.org.hk/Common/Reader/News/ShowNews.jsp?Nid=64403&Pid=6&Version=0&Cid=150&Charset=big5_hkscs
6. Chong, Dennis. "Hong Kong's parents raising 'spoiled brats', warns study". http://www.scmp.com/news/hong-kong/article/1221770/hong-kong-raising-spoilt-generation-only-out-themselves-academic?page=all. External link in |website= (help);
7. CHAN, OSWALD. "Monster Parents, Helicopter Parents & Anxiety". http://helicopter-parents-and-anxiety.blogspot.hk. External link in |website= (help);
8. CHAN, OSWALD. "Monster Parents, Helicopter Parents & Anxiety". http://helicopter-parents-and-anxiety.blogspot.hk. External link in |website= (help);
9. Belkin, Lisa. "It’s Not Your Mom and Dad’s Parenting". http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/17/changes-in-parenting-over-generations/?_r=0. External link in |website= (help);