The Five Love Languages
Author | Gary Chapman |
---|---|
Country | United States |
Language | English |
Subject | Intimate relationships |
Publisher | Northfield Publishing |
Publication date | 1995 |
ISBN | 1881273156 |
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate is a 1995 book by Gary Chapman.[1] It outlines five ways to express and experience love that Chapman calls "love languages": gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch (intimacy).[2] Your chosen love language is the way that you would most like to receive love from your companion. Chapman's book claims that the list of five love languages is exhaustive.[3] Chapman argues that, emotionally, people need to receive love and uses the metaphor of a 'love tank' to explain peoples' need to be loved.[4] He also writes that people should not use the love languages that they like the most but rather the love languages that their loved ones can receive.[5] Each person has one primary and one secondary love language. Chapman suggests that to discover a love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, analyze what they complain about most often, and what they request from their significant other most often. People tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love. It is also possible to find another person's love language by asking those same questions. Chapman suggests that peoples' love languages do not change over time, but instead develop and need to be nurtured in different ways.[6] Since 1995, Chapman has written several books related to The Five Love Languages, including The Five Love Languages of Children in 1997 and The Five Love Languages for Singles in 2004.[7]
There has been a lack of research done to test the credibility of Chapman's theory. Egbert (2006) suggests that the Five Love Languages might have some psychometric validity despite its abstract nature.[8] The book has been on the New York Times Best Seller list since August 2009.[9]
In 2011, Chapman co-authored The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace with Dr. Paul White, applying the 5 Love Languages concepts also work-based relationships.[10]
A new, revised edition of The Five Love Languages was released on January 1, 2015. This new edition has been "updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today," as the original book was published twenty years prior.
References
- ↑ Gary Chapman (1995). The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Northfield Publishing. ISBN 1881273156.
- ↑ Pam Farrel (2005). The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make. Harvest House. p. 125. ISBN 0736934731.
- ↑ Stephen M.R. Covey; Rebecca R. Merrill (2006). The Speed of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything. Simon & Schuster. p. 212. ISBN 141654237X.
- ↑ Michael Olpin; Margie Hesson (2009). Stress Management for Life (2 ed.). Cengage Learning. p. 205. ISBN 0324599439.
- ↑ Everett L. Worthington, Jr. (2005). Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling: A Guide to Brief Therapy (2 ed.). InterVarsity Press. p. 153. ISBN 0830827641.
- ↑ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/faqs/love-languages/
- ↑ David Rainey (2008). Faith Reads: A Selective Guide to Christian Nonfiction. ABC-CLIO. p. 125. ISBN 1591588472.
- ↑ Egbert, Nichole; Polk, Denise (23 Aug 2006). "Speaking the Language of Relational Maintenance: A Validity Test of Chapman's Five Love Languages". Communication Research Reports 23 (1): 19–26.
- ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/best-sellers-books/paperback-advice/list.html
- ↑ Chapman and White, Northfield Press (2011), http://www.appreciationatwork.com