Tiger mother

Tiger mother (or tiger mum, Chinese: 虎媽) is a strict or demanding mother who pushes her children to high levels of achievement, using methods regarded as typical of childrearing in East Asia, South Asia and Southeast Asia.[1][2][3][4] The term is coined by Yale law professor Amy Chua in her memoir Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, which gave some Asian Americans and Asian parents the “license” to be as strict in order to ensure the success of their children in today's competitive global economy.[5]

Advocates suggest a strict approach to parenting produces an exceptionally high proportion of top performers – kids who display academic excellence across the board with great musical ability and professional success later in life.[6]

Characteristics

Harsh regimen

Mothers who set up rules that overstep conventional parental boundaries are regarded as tiger mothers. Tiger mothers prioritize schoolwork above all else and only allow children to participate in activities in order to potentially win awards[1][7] which they believe will increase the chance of the child's acceptance to the best schools. It is said that “Asian American parents provide a constant wind beneath their children's wings”;[8] meaning tiger mothers constantly propel their kids towards excellence.

High expectation

Tiger mothers emphasize excellence in academia and award-winning non-academic achievements such as performing instruments and playing competitive sports.[9] The exorbitant level of expectation often stems from excessive parental love and care, as well as a strong desire to pave the way for their children’s future.

Psychological control

In her book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Chua mentioned that she would yell at her daughters as ‘garbage’ in public.[1] It is shown that tiger parents are equally unlikely to compliment their children in public as well.[9] Children raised by tiger parents are met with emotional threats and low-impact physical punishments if they fail to meet their parents' expectation.[10] Moreover, tiger parents seldom allow their children to make decisions on their own, whether in academia or daily life. For instance, Chua's daughters were not allowed to watch TV at night or have sleepovers with their schoolmates.[1]

Causes

Living up to the Asian standard

Asian parents tend to have an elitist attitude towards their children’s study. Even if their children manage to get mostly A’s in school, tiger mothers will not be easily satisfied nor impressed since "A is for average, and B is an Asian fail." [11]

Tiger mothers, particularly Asian immigrants, recognize the lax parenting style which Western parents tend to adopt puts less emphasis on the pursuit of academic success, so children may not put forth their utmost effort in schoolwork. Seeing this, tiger mothers take the opposite approach and educate their children to exercise self-control and self-discipline. They fill up their children’s schedule with tutorial classes (taught by private tutors and/or cram school) and extracurricular activities. Slacking is strictly forbidden.[1]

Exam-oriented education

Asian countries often adopt an exam-oriented approach in teaching, which encourages rote memorization. To consolidate and hasten this process, tiger mothers put children in tutorial classes as early as preschool stage. Throughout the child's academic career, his/ her primary goal is to obtain outstanding results in exams to secure a seat in prestigious schools, with the end goal of entering a top-notch university in mind. Since such places are scarce and highly coveted, only the crème de la crème can succeed. Tiger mothers recognize how crucial self-discipline is in gaining success, so they instil this value into their children as early as they can.[12]

Cultural influences

High education level is perceived as a guarantee of promising career prospects; and a tool to climb up the social ladder or lift a family out of poverty. Thus, tiger mothers pin high hope on their children. Also, tiger mothers take much pride in their children's achievements and flaunt them to other parents as Chinese immigrant mothers believe that “academic achievement reflects successful parenting”.[1]

Effects

According to numerous studies and other sources cited by the website Aha! Parenting, children under a controlling, punitive, and less supportive type of parenting may develop psychiatric problems such as anxiety, low self-esteem and depression, especially if tiger mothers have enormously high and unreasonable expectations for their kids. When parents do not provide coping strategies to their kids and guide alongside to manage negative feelings, such loneliness may transition into depression.[13]

According to the sources cited by the website Parenting Science, children from authoritarian families may find it more difficult to fend for themselves and make friends.[14] Studies published by the Handbook of Child Psychology have shown that kids under tiger parenting were rated as less helpful and less popular by their teachers and classmates.[15] Also, they are more likely to show aggressive behavior towards others when they are forced to learn without recess. They were rated as less self-reliant since their life is organized by their parents.

According to a three-part series on competition in Hong Kong's education system by the South China Morning Post, many Hong Kong parents, following a herd mentality and stoked by cultural fears over economic hardship, begin thinking of their children's futures as professionals soon after birth, striving to find the best playgroups, and encouraging competition among children in academia, sports and music, in the belief that this fosters competitiveness and increases their children's chances of entering into a better pre-nursery school and elite kindergarten, and determine their eventual success at primary schools, secondary schools and universities. However, many other Hong Kong parents, psychologists and educators state that pushing children too hard does not work, and can even harm children, with a growing trend of children aged five to 12 seeking psychiatric help. In reaction, some parents have relaxed their formerly strict discipline with their children, and some schools have made their admissions requirements less strenuous.[16]

In popular culture

Movies

TV series

See also

References

  1. 1 2 3 4 5 6 Chua, A. (2011). Battle hymn of the tiger mother. Penguin Group. ISBN 978-1-59420-284-1.
  2. ↑ "Tiger Mums: fierce or foolish?". The Sydney Morning Herald. Fairfax Media.
  3. ↑ "A tiger mom's tale". Vietnam News. Vietnam News.
  4. ↑ "Testing times: selective schools and tiger parents". The Sydney Morning Herald. Fairfax Media.
  5. ↑ Kim, S. "What is "tiger" parenting? How does it affect children?". American Psychological Association.
  6. ↑ Maxwell, K. "Tiger Mother". Macmillan Dictionary. Macmillan Publishers Limited.
  7. ↑ Mann, D. "16 Signs you’re too strict with your kids". WebMD.
  8. ↑ Prigg, M. "The tiger mom doesn’t know the best: Researchers find Western parenting methods are just as effective". Daily Mail.
  9. 1 2 Rende, R. "Evaluating "Tiger Mom" parenting: What’s the take-home message from research?". Parents.
  10. ↑ State, A. "Anxious kids: Why the ‘tiger’ mom tactic fails". Futurity.
  11. ↑ Marquez, L. "UCLA sociologist zeroes in on what motivates 'tiger moms'". UCLA Newsroom.
  12. ↑ Carey, T. "How Chinese success in education comes at a high cost". NewStatesMan.
  13. ↑ Markham, L. "What's Wrong With Strict Parenting?". Aha! Parenting. Retrieved August 13, 2015.
  14. ↑ Dewar, G. "Authoritarian parenting: How does it affect the kids?". Parenting Science.
  15. ↑ Damon, W.; Lerner, R. M.; Eisenberg, N. (2006). Handbook of Child Psychology, Social, Emotional, and Personality Development. Google Books. ISBN 978-0-471-27290-8.
  16. ↑ Zhao, S. "Hong Kong parents say pushing children too hard doesn't work". South China Morning Post.
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