Urgum the Axeman

The Urgum the Axeman trilogy is a set of books written by British author Kjartan Poskitt. The character first appeared in the Murderous Maths series by Kjartan Poskitt. The story centres on Urgum, the last of the true barbarians, (a breed of "savages") who lives with his wife Divina, his daughter Molly, and his seven savage sons in Golgarth Cragg. He is the fiercest barbarian the Lost Desert has ever known. There are three books about Urgum. They contain lots of humour, and the third book, Urgum and the Googoobah, was awarded the Roald Dahl Funny Prize. The story takes place in the Lost Desert, where the people are divided into two groups - the savages, who have to fight for survival, and the softhands, the civilized people who spend all their time reading and relaxing and behaving like genuine softies. They are quite snobby, and wear smart blue or green clothes and hats.

This is the first book in the Urgum trilogy, published in 2006. It centres on the twin barbarian gods, Tangor and Tangal, getting worried that their barbarian champion is always trying to find something dangerous to do, in doing so killing himself and coming up in the afterlife to join Tangor and Tangal and feast for eternity. Dying is considered a glorious thing to barbarians. Tangor and Tangal try to prevent this happening by moving time forward ten years. When he gets back home from his so-called unicorn hunt with his sons, which in reality, he spent a few days on (with everything having moved forward ten years), to his astonishment, his wife has produced a ten-year-old daughter called Molly. At first Urgum loathes her, but then finds out that she's tougher than he thought. His wife has completely re-decorated the cave, and installed a new lounge and bathroom. Urgum finds that things have completely changed while he was away.

Urgum and the Seat of Flames

This is the second book in the Urgum trilogy. Tangor and Tangal are afraid that their barbarian is getting too soft. Using a special machine called the "Turbo Evolver" and make an animal called a gorgo, a half-bird, half-gorilla, to issue a challenge to Urgum. They create a whole bunch of them and proclaim one the leader, called "Orgo the Gorgo". The gorgos and Urgum meet up in the "Battle Market". Later on, Urgum enteres the Savvy awards, to see who will be Savage of the Year. Orgo enters one of the experiments that the barbarian gods created in the Turbo Evolver, called a poppo (half-porcupine, half-hippo. In the end, a duel is begun, and Urgum and Orgo remove their trousers. Urgum is made to wear the "Flaming Pants of Shumbitt", while Orgo cheats by wearing metal underpants. At first, has an advantage, but Urgum soon beats him. Later, in the "Gloating Room", Urgum soon realises how much he really cares for Orgo, and gives him his Savvy award as he dies. In the end, Orgo is shown in the Hallowed Halls of Sirrus, entering Tangor and Tangal's cave, asking to be fed for eternity. Tangor and Tangal sheepishly get all the required foodstuffs for him to eat.

Urgum and the Googoobah

The prince is in danger of being kidnapped and the Princess decides to leave him with Urgum for him to look after until the danger has passed. Urgum later finds out about the baby, and when he does not get his lunch, he lies about an ancient barbarian tradition, that the weakest boy would be cast out and killed as a sacrifice. That made one mouth left to feed. The prince, called Googoobah due to the noise he makes ("Googoobah!"), is carried by Urgum to Sacrifice Rock. He ends up sending Googoobah over to his best friend Mungoid, knowing deep down that what he was about to do might not be right. Urgum ends up getting Googoobah back, then Divina decides to enter him in a baby gala. He has to get a blue cardigan, but creates a fight to the death in the market, while Divina meets Suprema. Meanwhile, Mungoid, in a date with Grizelda, overhears a kidnapping plot. Mungoid runs to warn Urgum, but by then Googoobah has come second. He is kidnapped anyway, because the baby that came first was 83-year-old and clearly couldn't be the prince. This forces Urgum to assemble a barbarian army to rescue Googoobah. He later discovers that Googoobah is the prince and returns him to his mother.

Characters

Places in the Lost Desert

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