Victim mentality

Victim mentality is an acquired (learned) personality trait in which a person tends to regard him or herself as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave like it were the case—even in the absence of clear evidence. It depends on habitual thought processes and attribution.

The term is also used in reference to the tendency on blaming one's misfortunes on somebody else's misdeeds, which is also referred to as victimism.^[1]

Victim mentality is primarily learned, for example, from family members and situations during childhood. It contrasts with the psychologically better-researched traits of neuroticism. Neuroticism may be defined as general emotional instability or a generally enhanced tendency to experience negative emotions. Psychoticism is characterised by hostility and aggression.

What victim mentality, neuroticism and psychoticism have in common is a relatively high frequency of negative emotional states such as anger, sadness, and fear. But these three traits are also partially independent: for example a given individual may have a high degree of victim mentality and a low degree of neuroticism, in which case a clinical psychologist is unlikely to regard her or him as needing treatment. Conversely, a given individual may have a high degree of neuroticism and a low degree of victim mentality.

Foundations

In the most general sense, a victim is anyone who experiences injury, loss, or misfortune as a result of some event or series of events.^[2] This experience, however, is insufficient for the emergence of a sense of victimhood. It has been suggested that individuals define themselves as a victim if they believe that:

• they were harmed;
• they were not responsible for the occurrence of the harmful act;
• they were under no obligation to prevent the harm;
• the harm constituted an injustice in that it violated their rights (if inflicted by a person) and/or in that they possessed qualities (e.g., strength or goodness of character) making them persons whom that harm did not befit
• they deserve sympathy.^[3]

The desire of sympathy is crucial in that the mere experience of a harmful event is not enough for the emergence of the sense of being a victim. In order to have this sense there is the need to perceive the harm as undeserved, unjust and immoral, an act that could not be prevented by the victim. The need to obtain empathy can then emerge.^[4]

Features

A victim mentality may manifest itself in a range of different behaviors or ways of thinking and talking:

• Blaming others for a situation that one has created oneself or significantly contributed to. Failing or being unwilling to take responsibility for one's own actions or actions to which one has contributed or for taking action to ameliorate the situation.
• Ascribing non-existent negative intentions to other people (similar to paranoia).
• Believing that other people are generally or fundamentally luckier and happier ("Why me?").
• Gaining short-term pleasure from feeling sorry for oneself or eliciting pity from others. Eliciting sympathy by telling exaggerated stories about bad deeds of other people (e.g. during gossip).

People with victim mentality may develop convincing and sophisticated arguments in support of such ideas, which they then use to convince themselves and others of their victim status.

People with victim mentality may also be generally:

• negative, with a general tendency to focus on bad rather than good aspects of a situation. A glass that is half full is considered half empty. A person with a high standard of living complains about not having enough money. A healthy person complains of minor health problems that others would ignore (cf. hypochondriasis).
• self-absorbed: unable or reluctant to consider a situation from the point of view of other people or to "walk a mile in their shoes".
• defensive: In conversation, reading a non-existent negative intention into a neutral question and reacting with a corresponding accusation, hindering the collective solution of problems and instead creating unnecessary conflict.
• categorizing: tending to divide people into "goodies" and "baddies" with no gray zone between them.
• unadventurous: generally unwilling to take risks; exaggerating the importance or likelihood of possible negative outcomes.
• exhibiting learned helplessness: underestimating one's ability or influence in a given situation; feeling powerless.
• stubborn: tending to reject suggestions or constructive criticism from others who listen and care; unable or reluctant to implement the suggestions of others for one's own benefit.
• self-abasing: Putting oneself down even further than others are supposedly doing.

A victim mentality may be reflected by linguistic markers or habits, such as pretending

• not to be able to do something ("I can't..."),
• not to have choices ("I must..."), or
• not to know the answer to a question ("I don't know").

Victims of abuse and manipulation

Victims of abuse and manipulation often get trapped into a self-image of victimisation. The psychological profile of victimisation includes a pervasive sense of helplessness, passivity, loss of control, pessimism, negative thinking, strong feelings of guilt, shame, self-blame and depression. This way of thinking can lead to hopelessness and despair.^[5]

Breaking out

Since victim mentality is primarily learned and not inborn, it is possible to change it. A change in attitude may be provoked by an extraordinary situation or crisis. Since rejecting suggestions is a general characteristic feature of victim mentality, a person with victim mentality will generally not respond positively to everyday attempts by another person to draw attention to the problem and its possible solution. For this reason, the condition may become chronic.

History and politics

Victim mentality has been associated with repressive political regimes. If the leaders of a country, and the citizens who support them, collectively feel like victims of neighboring countries (e.g. following past border disputes), those leaders may be more likely to advocate violent conflict resolution or suppression of freedom of speech.

Political psychologists Daniel Bar-Tal and Lily Chernyak-Hai write that collective victim mentality develops from a progression of self-realization, social recognition, and eventual attempts to maintain victimhood status.^[6]

See also

• Blame
• Learned helplessness
• Mindset
• Victim playing
• Victimisation

References

1. Alyson Manda Cole, The Cult of True Victimhood: From the War on Welfare to the War on Terror
2. K. Aquino and K. Byron, ‘Dominating interpersonal behavior and perceived victimization in groups: Evidence for a curvilinear relationship’,Journal of Management, Vol. 28, No. 1, 2002, p. 71.
3. C. J. Sykes, A nation of victims: The decay of the American character, St. Martin’s Press: New York, 1992
4. http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayIssue?jid=IRC&volumeId=91&seriesId=0&issueId=874
5. Braiker, Harriet B., Who's Pulling Your Strings ? How to Break The Cycle of Manipulation (2006)
6. A sense of self-perceived collective victimhood in intractable conflicts; http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=6647920

Bibliography

• Caroline M Apovian (2010). The causes, prevalence, and treatment of obesity revisited in 2009: what have we learned so far? American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 91, 277S-279S.
• Isaac Prilleltensky and Lev Gonick (1996). Polities change, oppression remains: On the psychology and politics of oppression. Political Psychology, 17, 127.
• Christopher Peterson (2006). A Primer in Positive Psychology. Oxford University Press.
• Janet Lehman: "It's Not Fair!" How to Stop Victim Mentality and Thinking in Kids and Teens. http://www.empoweringparents.com/How-to-Stop-Victim-Mentality-Thinking-Kids.php
• Henrick Edberg: How to Break Out of a Victim Mentality: 7 Powerful Tips. http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2009/10/09/how-to-break-out-of-a-victim-mentality-7-powerful-tips/
• Thomas J. Nevitt: The Victim Mentality. http://aaph.org/node/214