Bride price

Bride price, best called bridewealth,[1] also known as bride token, is money, property, or other form of wealth paid by a groom or his family to the parents of the woman he has just married or is just about to marry. Bride price can be compared to dowry, which is paid to the groom, or used by the bride to help establish the new household and dower, which is property settled on the bride herself by the groom at the time of marriage. The bride price agreed may or may not be intended to reflect the perceived value of the bride.

Some cultures may practice both dowry and bride price simultaneously. Many cultures practiced bride pricing prior to existing records.

Function

A Papuan bride price basket piece from the early 20th century. In the collection of The Children's Museum of Indianapolis.

In anthropological literature, bride price has often been explained in market terms, as payment made in exchange for the bride's family's loss of her labor and fertility within her kin group.

The bride price may be seen as similar to the payment of alimony (maintenance) to the wife in the event of divorce and the payment of family maintenance in the event of the husband not providing adequately for the wife in his will. Another function of the bride price was or is to provide a disincentive for the husband to divorce his wife. If the amount is high enough, it isn't easy for him to be able to pay for a new wife.
Dowry exists in societies where capital is more important than manual work. For instance, in Middle Age Europe, a wife had to bring a dowry - land, cattle and money. Bridewealth exists in societies where manual work is more important than capital. In South-Saharan Africa, land was abundant, there were few or no domesticated animals, manual work was therefore important, and therefore bridewealth dominated.

An evolutionary psychology explanation for dowry and bride price is that bride price is common in polygynous societies which have a relative scarcity of available women. In monogamous societies where women have little personal wealth, dowry is instead common since there is a relative scarcity of wealthy men who can choose from many potential women when marrying.[2]

History

Mesopotamia

The Code of Hammurabi mentions bride price in various laws as an established custom. It is not the payment of the bride price that is prescribed, but the regulation of various aspects:

Jewish tradition

See also: Ketubah

The Hebrew Bible mention the practice of paying a bride price to the father of a minor girl. Exodus 22:16–17 says:

If a man entices a virgin who isn't pledged to be married, and lies with her, he shall surely pay a dowry for her to be his wife. 17 If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.

Deuteronomy 22:28–29 similarly states:

If a man find a lady who is a virgin, who is not pledged to be married, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; then the man who lay with her shall give to the lady's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has humbled her; he may not put her away all his days.

Some translations of Deuteronomy, such as the New International Version, use the word "rape" in their translation of what the King James Version and World English Bible (the latter used above) translate as "lay hold on her and lie with her," giving rise to the perception that Judeo-Christian values condone forcing a rape victim to marry her rapist. This is inconsistent with Deuteronomy 22:25-26, which states that a rapist (the KJV and WEB use the phrasing "force her and lie with her" in that verse) is to be stoned to death and that his victim is to be spared.

In the Jewish tradition, the rabbis in ancient times insisted on the marriage couple's entering into a marriage contract, called a ketubah. The ketubah provided for an amount to be paid by the husband in the event of a divorce (get) or by his estate in the event of his death. This amount was a replacement of the biblical dower or bride price, which was payable at the time of the marriage by the groom.

This innovation came about because the bride price created a major social problem: many young prospective husbands could not raise the amount at the time when they would normally be expected to marry. So, to enable these young men to marry, the rabbis, in effect, delayed the time that the amount would be payable, when they would be more likely to have the sum. It may also be noted that both the dower and the ketubah amounts served the same purpose: the protection for the wife should her support (either by death or divorce) cease. The only difference between the two systems was the timing of the payment.

In fact, the rabbis were so insistent on the bride having the "benefit of the ketubah" that some even described a marriage without one as being merely concubinage, because the bride would lack the benefit of the financial settlement in case of divorce or death of the husband, and without the dower or ketubah amount the woman and her children could become a burden on the community. However, the husband could refuse to pay the ketubah amount if a divorce was on account of adultery of the wife.

In traditional Jewish weddings, to this day, the groom gives the bride an object of value, such as a wedding ring.[3]

Ancient Greece

Some of the marriage settlements mentioned in the Iliad and Odyssey suggest that bride price was a custom of Homeric society. The language used for various marriage transactions, however, may blur distinctions between bride price and dowry, and a third practice called "indirect dowry," whereby the groom hands over property to the bride which is then used to establish the new household.[4]:177 "Homeric society" is a fictional construct involving legendary figures and deities, though drawing on the historical customs of various times and places in the Greek world.[4]:180 At the time when the Homeric epics were composed, "primitive" practices such as bride price and polygamy were no longer part of Greek society. Mentions of them preserve, if they have a historical basis at all, customs dating from the Age of Migrations (c. 1200–1000 BCE) and the two centuries following.[4]:185

In the Iliad, Agamemnon promises Achilles that he can take a bride without paying the bride price (Greek hednon), instead receiving a dowry (pherne).[4]:179[5] In the Odyssey, the least arguable references to bride price are in the marriage settlements for Ctimene, the sister of Odysseus;[6] Pero, the daughter of Neleus, who demanded cattle for her;[7] and the goddess Aphrodite herself, whose husband Hephaestus threatens to make her father Zeus return the bride price given for her, because she was adulterous.[4]:178 It is possible that the Homeric "bride price" is part of a reciprocal exchange of gifts between the prospective husband and the bride's father, but while gift exchange is a fundamental practice of aristocratic friendship and hospitality, it occurs rarely, if at all, in connection with marriage arrangements.[4]:177-178

Islamic law

Islamic law commands a groom to give the bride a gift called a Mahr prior to the consummation of the marriage. A mahr differs from the standard meaning of bride-price in that it is not to the family of the bride, but to the wife to keep for herself; it is thus more accurately described as a dower. In the Qur'an, it is mentioned in chapter 4, An-Nisa, verse 4 as follows:

And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr [obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage] with a good heart; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allah has made it lawful).

Islamic law considers it haram for a husband, the groom's family or the bride's family to take the mahr of the bride without her willful decision.

Morning gifts

Main article: Dower

Morning gifts, which might be arranged by the bride's father rather than the bride, are given to the bride herself. The name derives from the Germanic tribal custom of giving them the morning after the wedding night. The woman might have control of this morning gift during the lifetime of her husband, but is entitled to it when widowed. If the amount of her inheritance is settled by law rather than agreement, it may be called dower. Depending on legal systems and the exact arrangement, she may not be entitled to dispose of it after her death, and may lose the property if she remarries. Morning gifts were preserved for many centuries in morganatic marriage, a union where the wife's inferior social status was held to prohibit her children from inheriting a noble's titles or estates. In this case, the morning gift would support the wife and children. Another legal provision for widowhood was jointure, in which property, often land, would be held in joint tenancy, so that it would automatically go to the widow on her husband's death.

Today

The tradition of giving bride price is practiced in many Asian countries, parts of Africa and in some Pacific Island societies, notably those in Melanesia. The amount changing hands may range from a token to continue the traditional ritual, to many thousands of US dollars in some Thai marriages, and as much as a $100,000 in exceptionally large bride prices in parts of Papua New Guinea where bride price is customary. In some cultures, mostly in Central Africa and parts of inner Mongolia, it is not uncommon to see brides priced by weight.

Afghanistan

The tradition is upheld in Afghanistan as well. A "dark distortion" of it involved a 6-year-old daughter of an Afghan refugee from Helmand Province in a Kabul refugee camp, who was to be married to the son of money lender who lent the girl's father $2500 so the man could pay medical bills. According to anthropologist Deniz Kandiyoti, the practice increased after the fall of the Taliban.[8]

Africa

In parts of Africa, a traditional marriage ceremony depends on payment of a bride price to be valid. In subsaharan Africa bride price must be paid first in order for the couple to get permission to marry in church or in other civil ceremonies,or the marriage is not considered valid by the bride's family. The amount can vary from a token to a great sum, real estate and other values. Lobola or Lobolo (sometimes also known as Roora) is the same tradition in most cultures in Southern Africa Shona, Venda, Zulu, Ndebele etc. The amount includes a few to several herd of cattle, goats and a sum of money depending on the family. The cattle and goats constitute an integral part of the traditional marriage for ceremonial purposes during and after the original marriage ceremony.

The beasts and money are not always paid all at once. Depending on the wealth of the groom he and his family can enter into a non written contract with the bride's family similar to the Jewish Ketubah, in which he promises to pay what he owes within a specified period of time. This is done to allow young men who do not have much to marry while they work towards paying off the bride price as well as raising a family or wait for their own sisters and aunts to get married so they in turn can use the amounts received to offset their debts to their inlaws. This amount must be paid by his family in the event he is incapacitated or dies. It is considered a family debt of honor.

In the African Great Lakes country of Uganda, the MIFUMI Project[9] held a referendum in Tororo in 2001 on whether a bride price should be a non-refundable gift. In 2004, it held an international conference on the bride price in Kampala, Uganda. It brought together activists from Uganda, Kenya, Tanzania, Nigeria, Ghana, Senegal, Rwanda and South Africa to discuss the effect that payment of bride price has on women. Delegates also talked about ways of eliminating this practice in Africa and elsewhere. It also issued a preamble position in 2008.[10] In 2007 MIFUMI took the Uganda Government to the Constitutional Court wishing the court to rule that the practice of Bride Price is un-constitutional. Especially it was complained, that the bride price once taken should not be refundable if the couple should get a divorce. But there is to consider, that MIFUMI is far away to represent the Ugandan women or even the whole society. The case was heard in September 2009 but lost against the Uganda Government. Traditional or customary law can anyway not be changed by few activists from an international NGO like MIFUMI, but only from inside the whole indigenous society. To change customary law on bride price in Uganda, however, is difficult as it is guarded by society, which is especially in the rural areas approving its relevance. The whole culture of the People of Ankole is deeply connected to the institution of bride price. Its custom connects families for lifetime and woman are proud on the extremly high value they receive, comparing to the Baganda or the Rwandese. It is not rare, that the groom has to give his bride huge amounts of cattle and also a house, car and other property. Of course depending on the "value" of the bride (schooling, degrees) but also on his own possibilities. This corresponds with the bride price customs in China. Who is rich, has to give - otherwise it can be even taken by the brides family forcefully... On the other side rich men marrying an educated woman, which has spend millions on her education in the expensive Ugandan education system, are willing and proud to "show up" and to pay. To show the whole world - and especially the whole family of the bride - who they are and what richness they achieved. Its a question of honor. But there are also others, which will take loans to be paid back within many years, just to marry the woman they love. And again others are marrying in high age, as they still need almost a lifetime to acquire enough property to marry their wives officially. Customary law is also considered more than just bride price but other rituals and ceremonies that enrich Ugandan cultures. Of course, next to constitutional changes, changes in customary law would be necessary to abolish the practice.[11] And customary law is not changeable by decision, but develops itself alone...

In sub-Saharan Africa, the visits between families to negotiate the bride price are traditional customs that are considered by many Africans to be central to African marriage and society. The negotiations themselves have been described as the crucial component of the practice as they provide the families of the bride and groom the opportunity to meet and forge important bonds. The price itself, independent on his value, is symbolic, although the custom has also been described as "the license of owning a family in the African institution of marriage".[12] In some African cultures, the price of a bride is connected with her reputation and esteem in the community (Ankole, Tooro), an aspect that has been by foreighners criticized as demeaning to women. In some African cultures, such as the Fang people in Equatorial Guinea, and some regions in Uganda, the price is considered the "purchase price" of a wife. One point of critics says, that the husband so might exercise economic control over her.

The majority ethnic group of Equatorial Guinea, the Fang people practise the bride price custom in a way that subjugates women who find themselves in an unhappy marriage. Divorce has a social stigma among the Fang, and in the event that a woman intends to leave her husband, she is expected to return the goods initially paid to her family. If she is unable to pay the debt, she can be imprisoned. Although women and men in theory have equal inheritance rights, in practise men are normally the ones to inherit property. This economic disadvantage reinforces women's lack of freedom and lower social status.[13]

The common term for the arrangement in southern Africa is lobolo, from the Nguni language, a term often used in central and western Africa as well. Elders controlled the marriage arrangements. In South Africa, the custom survived colonial influences, but was transformed by capitalism. Once young men began working in mines and other colonial businesses, they gained the means to increase the lobolo, leading elders to increase the value required for lobolo in order to maintain their control.[14]

Central Asia

In many parts of Central Asia, bride price is expected and mandatory. Various names for it in Central Asia include Kazakh: қалыңмал [qaləɴmal], Kyrgyz: калың [qɑlɯ́ŋ], Uzbek: qalin [qalɨn], and Russian: калым [kɐˈlɨm]. It is also common in Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan.[15] The price may range from a small sum of money or a single piece of livestock to what amounts to a herd of livestock, depending on local traditions and the expectations and agreements of the families involved.[16]

China

In traditional Chinese culture, an auspicious date is selected to ti qin (simplified Chinese: 提亲; traditional Chinese: 提親; literally: "propose marriage"), where both families will meet to discuss the amount of the bride price (Chinese: 娉金; pinyin: pīng jīn; literally: "abundant gold"[17]) demanded, among other things. Several weeks before the actual wedding, the ritual of guo da li (simplified Chinese: 过大礼; traditional Chinese: 過大禮; literally: "going through the great ceremony") takes place (on an auspicious date). The groom and a matchmaker will visit the bride's family bearing gifts like wedding cakes, sweetmeats and jewelry, as well as the bride price. On the actual wedding day, the bride's family will return a portion of the bride price (sometimes in the form of dowry) as a goodwill gesture.

Bride prices vary from CN¥ 1,000,000 in famously money-centric[18][19] Shanghai[20][21] to as little as CN¥ 10,000.[22][23] Also often required along with bride price are typically a house[24] (apartment is acceptable, but rentals are not[25]) and a car,[21][23] neither of whose dollar values are counted against the bride price itself. In some regions, the bride's family may demand other kinds of gifts,[26] none counted against the bride price itself. May 18 is a particularly auspicious day on which to pay the bride price and marry as its Chinese wording is phoenetically similar to "I will get rich".[20] Bride prices are rising quickly[25][27] in China [20] largely without documentation but a definite verbal and cultural understanding of where bride prices are today. Gender inequality in China has increased competition for ever higher bride prices.[28] Financial distress is an unacceptable and ignored justification for not paying the bride price. If the grooms' side cannot agree or pay, they or simply the groom himself must still pay a bride price [29] thus borrowing from relatives is a popular if not required option to "save face". Inability to pay is cause for preventing a marriage which either side can equally recommend. Privately, families need bride prices due to China's lack of a social security net[30] and a one child policy which leaves parents with neither retirement funding nor caretaking if their only child is taken away[31] as brides typically move into the groom's residence upon marrying[32] as well as testing the groom's ability to marry by paying cash [32] and emotionally giving up his resources to the bride.[33] Publicly, families cite bride price as sustenence in case the man abandons or divorces the wife[33] and that the bride price creates goodwill between families. The groom's side should pay more than what the bride's side has demanded[34] to "save face".[28][35] Amounts preferably follow the usual red envelope conventions though the sum is far more important.

Changing patterns in the betrothal and marriage process in some rural villages of modern China can be represented as the following stages:[36]

  1. Ti qin 提亲, "propose a marriage";
  2. He tian ming 和天命, "Accord with Heaven's mandate" (i.e. find a ritually auspicious day);
  3. Jian mian 见面, "looking in the face", i.e. meeting;
  4. Ding hun 订婚, "being betrothed";
  5. Yao ri zi 要日子, "asking the wifegivers the date of the wedding"; and
  6. Jie xin ren 接新人, "transferring the bride".

Papua New Guinea

Traditional marriage customs vary widely in Papua New Guinea. A one extreme are moiety (or 'sister exchange') societies, where a man must have a real or classificatory sister to give in exchange for a wife, but is not required to pay a bride price as is understood elsewhere in the country. At the other extreme are resource rich areas of the Papua New Guinea Highlands, where locally traded valuables in the form of shells and stone axes, were displaced by money and modern manufactures (including vehicles and white goods) during the 20th century. Extremely high bride prices are now paid in the Highlands, where even ordinary village men are expected to draw on their relations to pay their wive's relatives pigs and cash to the value of between $5,000 and $10,000. Where either or both of the couple is university-educated or well-placed in business or politics, the amount paid may escalate to $50,000-$100,000 when items like a new bus or Toyota 4WD are taken into account. Bride prices may be locally inflated by mining royalties, and are higher near the economically more prosperous national capital, Port Moresby.

For most couples in most provinces, however, if a bride price is paid, it will amount to up to a dozen pigs, domestic goods, and more amounts of cash.

Solomon Islands

There is a tradition of payment of bride price on the island of Malaita in the Solomon Islands, although the payment of brideprice is not a tradition on other islands. Malaitan shell-money, manufactured in the Langa Langa Lagoon, is the traditional currency used in Malaita and throughout the Solomon Islands. The money consists of small polished shell disks which are drilled and placed on strings. It can be used as payment for brideprice, funeral feasts and compensation, with the shell-money having a cash equivalent value. It is also worn as an adornment and status symbol. The standard unit, known as the tafuliae, is several strands 1.5 m in length. The shell money is still produced by the people of Langa Langa Lagoon, but much is inherited, from father to son, and the old traditional strings are now rare.

Thailand

In Thailand, bride price—sin sod[37] (Thai: สินสอด, pronounced [sĭn sòt] and often erroneously referred to by the English term "dowry") is common in both Thai-Thai and Thai-foreign marriages. The bride price may range from nothing—if the woman is divorced, has a child fathered by another man, or is widely known to have had premarital relations with men—to tens of millions of Thai baht (US$300,000) for a woman of high social standing, a beauty queen, or a highly educated woman. The bride price in Thailand is paid at the engagement ceremony, and consists of three elements: cash, Thai (96.5 percent pure) gold, and the more recent Western tradition of a diamond ring. The most commonly stated rationale for the bride price in Thailand is that it allows the groom to demonstrate that he has enough financial resources to support the bride (and possibly her family) after the wedding. In many cases, especially when the amount is large, the parents of a Thai bride will return all or part of the bride price to the couple in the form of a wedding gift following the engagement ceremony.

In fiction

See also

References

  1. ↑ Dalton, George. "Brief Communications: "Bridewealth" vs. "Bridewealth"". American Anthropologist 68 (3): 732–737. Retrieved 2015-12-03.
  2. ↑ The Oxford Handbook of Evolutionary Psychology, Edited by Robin Dunbar and Louise Barret, Oxford University Press, 2007, Chapter 26, "The evolutionary ecology of family size".
  3. ↑ The Jewish Way in Love & Marriage, Rabbi Maurice Lamm, Harper & Row, 1980, Chapter 15
  4. 1 2 3 4 5 6 Snodgrass, A.M. (2006). Archaeology and the Emergence of Greece'. Cornell University Press.
  5. ↑ Iliad 9.146
  6. ↑ Odyssey 15.367.
  7. ↑ Odyssey 11.287–297 and 15.231–238. The two versions vary, but the bride price demanded takes the form of a mythological test, labor, or ordeal; William G. Thalman, The Swineherd and the Bow: Representations of Class in the Odyssey (Cornell University Press, 1998), p. 157f.
  8. ↑ Rubin, Alissa J. (1 April 2013). "Afghan Debt’s Painful Payment: A Daughter, 6". The New York Times. Retrieved 1 April 2013.
  9. ↑ The MIFUMI Project
  10. ↑ "MIFUMI Preamble on Bride Price for Tororo Ordinance 2008"
  11. ↑ Development and Cooperation, Vol.36, 2009, No.11
  12. ↑ Waweru, Humphrey (2012). The Bible and African Culture. Mapping Transactional Inroads. African Books Collective. p. 170. ISBN 9789966150639.
  13. ↑ Stange, Mary Zeiss, and Carol K. Oyster, Jane E. Sloan (2011). Encyclopedia of Women in Today's World, Volume 1. SAGE. p. 496. ISBN 9781412976855.
  14. ↑ Bennett, T.W. (2004). Customary Law in South Africa. Kluwer. p. 223. ISBN 9780702163616.
  15. ↑ Ramet, Sabrina P. (1993). Religious policy in the Soviet Union. Cambridge: Cambridge UP. p. 220.
  16. ↑ Rakhimdinova, Aijan. "Kyrgyz Bride Price Controversy.". IWPR Issue 17, 22 Dec 05. IWPR. Retrieved 25 September 2011.
  17. ↑ "BETROTHAL 下娉/过大礼/纳彩". 2010-04-03. Retrieved 2014-04-16.
  18. ↑ French, Howard W. (2006-01-24). "In a Richer China, Billionaires Put Money on Marriage". Retrieved 2014-04-16.
  19. ↑ French, Howard W. (2006-01-23). "Rich guy seeks girl, must be virgin: Read this ad". Retrieved 2014-04-16.
  20. 1 2 3 Faison, Seth (1996-05-22). "Shanghai Journal;It's a Lucky Day in May, and Here Come the Brides". Retrieved 2014-04-16.
  21. 1 2 Larmer, Brook (2013-03-09). "In a Changing China, New Matchmaking Markets". Retrieved 2014-04-16.
  22. ↑ "全国聘礼地图：山东3斤百元人民币 重庆0元(图)". 2013-06-05. Retrieved 2014-04-16.
  23. 1 2 "The Price of Marriage in China: Infographic Shows Astounding Data". 2013-06-11. Retrieved 2014-04-16.
  24. ↑ Gwynn Guilford, Ritchie King and Herman Wong (June 9, 2013). "Forget dowries: Chinese men have to pay up to US$24,000 to get a bride". Retrieved April 16, 2014.
  25. 1 2 Lim, Louisa (April 23, 2013). "For Chinese Women, Marriage Depends On Right 'Bride Price'". Retrieved April 16, 2014.
  26. ↑ Trivedi, Anjani (June 10, 2013). "The Steep Price for a Chinese Bride". Retrieved April 16, 2014.
  27. ↑ "全国聘礼地图". 2013-06-06. Retrieved 2014-04-16.
  28. 1 2 Moore, Malcolm (January 4, 2013). "China's brides go for gold as their dowries get bigger and bigger". Retrieved April 16, 2014.
  29. ↑ "I have a solution.". 2012-03-25. Retrieved 2014-04-16.
  30. ↑ "PIN JIN OR BRIDE PRICE IN SINGAPORE .. HOW MUCH TO PAY?". April 27, 2013. Retrieved April 16, 2014.
  31. ↑ Lisa Mahapatra and Sophie Song (June 6, 2013). "A Map Of China's Bride Price Distribution: Shanghai Tops The List At One Million Yuan And Chongqing The Only City Where Love Is Free". Retrieved April 16, 2014.
  32. 1 2 Roberts, Marcus (June 12, 2013). "Chinese "Bride Price"". Retrieved April 16, 2014.
  33. 1 2 "Bride Price (聘金): How Much To Give?".
  34. ↑ "Chinese Wedding Traditions: The Bride Price". August 26, 2012. Retrieved April 16, 2014.
  35. ↑ "How Much Are You Worth, Chinese Bride-to-Be?". April 24, 2013. Retrieved April 16, 2014.
  36. ↑ Han, Min, "Social Change and Continuity in a Village in Northern Anhui, China: A Response to Revolution and Reform", Senri Ethnological Studies 58, Osaka, Japan: National Museum of Ethnology, December 20, 2001.
  37. ↑ "Cultural aspects within marriage" (Video). Bangkok Post. 2015-04-28. Retrieved 12 March 2016.

Further reading

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