Swinging (sexual practice)

for the theoretical physicist see: Julian Schwinger

Swinging, also known as wife swapping or partner swapping, is a non-monogamous behavior in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity.[1]

The phenomenon of swinging, or at least its wider discussion and practice, is regarded by some as arising from the freer attitudes to sexual activity after the sexual revolution of the 1960s, the invention and availability of the contraceptive pill and the emergence of treatments for many of the sexually transmitted diseases that were known at that time.

The swinger community sometimes refers to itself as "the lifestyle", or as "the alternative lifestyle".[2] The term "wife swapping" or "partner swapping" is criticized for not accurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which both singles or couples may engage,[3] which is not limited to conventional sex with a person other than their regular sex partner. Other terms sometimes encountered are wife sharing, partner sharing, wife trading and wife lending, which describe similar concepts, usually in sociological or anthropological research. As these terms have become dated, with women participating as fully in the decision making process as their male partners, the more gender-neutral term "swinging" has gained popularity.

Reasons for swinging

People may choose a swinging lifestyle for a variety of reasons. Many cite the increased quality, quantity, and frequency of sex. Some people may engage in swinging to add variety into their otherwise conventional sex lives or due to their curiosity. Some couples see swinging as a healthy outlet and means to strengthen their relationship. Others regard such activities as merely a social and recreational interaction with others.[1][4]

International Swinger community's Flag, created by Ted Williams and Emilio Designs Graphic Design Enaver. Red rings represent the passion and unbreakable bond between the couple, the yellow background represents the light and fire of desire, the blue color of the vastness of the sky

Modern swinging

Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from spontaneous sexual activity involving partner swapping at an informal gathering of friends to planned regular social meetings to "hooking up" with like-minded people at a sex club (also known as a swinger club, not to be confused with a strip club). Different clubs offer varied facilities and atmospheres, and often hold "theme" nights.[5] Much like a "secret society", swingers have code talk and secret lingo to hide their discussions from the scrutiny of those not involved in that lifestyle. Vanilla is a term used to describe a non-swinger.

Swinging is also known to take place in semi-public venues such as hotels, resorts, or cruise ships, or often in private homes.[6] Furthermore, many websites that cater to swinging couples now exist, some boasting hundreds of thousands of members.[6]

Hotwife

A hotwife is a woman in a heterosexual relationship, married or not, who is free to have sexual activities with select men other than her partner with her partner's approval. The process of selection of potential candidates for the hotwife's activities depends on the couple's arrangement, but in many cases the male partner takes active part in it. Also the hotwife's preparation for a date is often carried out by both the hotwife and her partner together.

Both the hotwife and her partner find some sort of (mental) gratification in this "hotwifing" arrangement.

Hotwifing differs from

It is a type of an (half-)open relationship and wifesharing.

Prevalence

According to 2005 estimates by the Kinsey Institute and others, swingers account for two to four percent of married couples with numbers in excess of 4 million people in North America.[7] As of 2011, some experts believe that there are as many as 15 million Americans swinging on a regular basis.[8]

Research on swinging has been conducted in the United States since the late 1960s. One 2000 study, based on an Internet questionnaire addressed to visitors of swinger-related sites, found swingers are happier in their relationships than the norm.[1]

60% said that swinging improved their relationship; 1.7% said swinging made their relationship less happy. Approximately 50% of those who rated their relationship "very happy" before becoming swingers maintained their relationship had become happier. 90% of those with less happy relationships said swinging improved them.

Almost 70% of swingers claimed no problem with jealousy; approximately 25% admitted "I have difficulty controlling jealousy when swinging" as "somewhat true", while 6% said this was "yes, very much" true. Swingers rate themselves happier ("very happy": 59% of swingers compared to 32% of non-swingers) and their lives more "exciting" (76% of swingers compared to 54% of non-swingers) than non-swingers, by significantly large margins. There was no significant difference between responses of men and women, although more males (70%) than females completed the survey. This study, which only polled self-identified swingers, is of limited use to a broader application to the rest of society (external validity) owing to self-selected sampling.

John Stossel produced an investigative news report into the swinging lifestyle. Stossel's report in 2005 cited Terry Gould's research, which concluded that "couples swing in order to not cheat on their partners". When Stossel asked swinging couples whether they worry their spouse will "find they like someone else better," one male replied, "People in the swinging community swing for a reason. They don't swing to go out and find a new wife;" a woman asserted, "It makes women more confident – that they are the ones in charge." Stossel interviewed 12 marriage counselors. According to Stossel, "not one of them said don't do it," though some said "getting sexual thrills outside of marriage can threaten a marriage". Nevertheless, swingers whom Stossel interviewed claimed "their marriages are stronger because they don't have affairs and they don't lie to each other."[7]

According to economic studies on swinging,[9] the information and communications technology revolution, together with improvements in medicine, has been effective in reducing some of the costs of swinging and hence in increasing the number of swingers. The economic approaches which seem best suited to capture the empirical data are those based on the concept of hedonic adaptation. These approaches suggest that it is consistent with maximizing swingers' strategy to begin from "soft" swinging and only later engage in "harder" swinging, and that also the search for ever new sexual experiences delays long-period hedonic adaptation and hence increases swingers' long-period wellbeing. Both of these theoretical predictions seem to find confirmation in the empirical data on swinger behaviour.

Objections

See also: Sexual norm and Casual sex

Religious and moral objections

Some people object to swinging on moral or philosophical grounds. Most religious communities and moralists regard swinging as adultery, not withstanding that it is with the knowledge, consent or encouragement of one spouse to the other. Some argue that strict monogamy is the ideal form for marital relationships and that sexual relations should only take place between marriage partners or, perhaps, between partners in a committed monogamous relationship.

Health issues

Swingers are exposed to the same types of risks as people who engage in casual sex, with the main concerns being the risk of pregnancy and of contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI). Some swingers engage in unprotected sex, a practice known as barebacking, while others follow safe sex practices and will not engage with others who do not also practice safe sex. Swingers may reduce the risk of STI by exchanging STI test results and serosorting. Proponents of swinging argue that safe sex is accepted within the swinging community and the risk of sexual disease is the same for them as for the general population – and that some populations of sexually non-monogamous people have clearly lower rates of STIs than the general population.[10] Opponents are also concerned about the risk of pregnancy and STIs such as HIV, arguing that even protected sex is risky given that some STIs may be spread regardless of the use of condoms, such as Herpes and HPV.

A Dutch study that compared the medical records of self-reported swingers to that of the general population found that STI prevalence was highest in young people, homosexual men, and swingers.[11] However, this study has been criticized as not being representative of swinger populations as a whole: its data was formulated solely on patients receiving treatment at an STI clinic. In addition, according to the conclusions of the report, the STI rates of swingers were in fact nearly identical to those of non-swinging straight couples, and concluded that the safest demographic for STI infection were female prostitutes. According to the Dutch study, "the combined rates of chlamydia and gonorrhea were just over 10% among straight people, 14% among gay men, just under 5% in female prostitutes, and 10.4% among swingers."[12]

Consent issues

Some[13] have criticized the swinger culture for being too passive on issues of consent, an issue which has become more prevelent in recent years, including the passage of California's Affirmative Consent[14] law.

Responses to objections

Many couples enter swinging while in secure relationships, providing added motivation to avoid excessive health risks. Though some sexual affairs outside relationships may be in "the heat of the moment" without regard to consequences, swingers maintain that sex among swingers is often more frank and deliberative and therefore more honest than unfaithful.

Many swinging clubs in the US and UK do not have alcohol licenses and have a "bring your own beverage" (BYOB) policy. Also, it is not uncommon for experienced swingers to remain sober to preclude any sexual performance problems. This counter-argument suggests that such swingers take a safer approach to sexual health than comparable non-monogamous singles (who ostensibly have impaired judgment from becoming inebriated).

Condoms are often highly encouraged and readily available at many swinging clubs and parties. In addition, many swingers rely on frequent STI testing to ensure their safety. A small portion focus on massage and other activities unlikely to transmit STIs; However, most participants acknowledge they are accepting the same risks that any person does who is sexually active outside of a strictly monogamous relationship.

Although there is a risk of pregnancy, they are the same as monogamous sex and can be minimized. Solutions include a tubal ligation (female sterilization), vasectomy (male sterilization), or having a group entirely made of menopausal women. Other solutions include using condoms or the pill. Proper use of a condom with an effective birth control method minimises the risk of pregnancy and transmission of STIs.[15]

Some believe sexual attraction is part of human nature and should be openly enjoyed by a committed or married couple. Some swingers cite divorce data in the US, claiming the lack of quality of sex and spousal infidelity are significant factors in divorce. One study showed 37% of husbands and 29% of wives admit at least one extramarital affair (Reinisch, 1990), and divorce rates for first marriages percent approached 60%.

Swinging in Western society

It may not be possible to trace a precise history of swinging since the modern concept is so closely related to basic human sexuality and relationships, and they vary significantly across time and cultures. The modern concept of "swinging" is a recent Western phenomenon with no counterpart or meaning in many other cultures and civilizations in history in which monogamous relationships was the norm or which had religious or social prohibitions against such sexual practices.

16th century

The "community of women" was practiced by several radical Anabaptist sects including the Batenburgers and the Munsterites.

A formal arrangement was signed by John Dee, his wife Lynae, his scryer, Edward Kelley and Kelley's wife Joanna on 22 April 1587, whereby conjugal relations would be shared between the men and their spouses. This arrangement arose following seances which apparently resulted in spirits guiding Dee and Kelley towards this course of action. The arrangement ended badly and destroyed Dee's working relationship with Kelley.[16]

18th century

It has been claimed that two related 18th-century messianic Jewish sects—the Frankists, followers of Jacob Frank, and the Dönmeh, followers of Shabbetai Zvi—held an annual springtime Lamb Festival, which consisted of a celebratory dinner that included a ritualized exchange of spouses.[17][18]

19th century

One of the criticisms of communism was the allegation that communists practice and propagandize the "community of women". In The Communist Manifesto (1848), Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels suggest that this allegation is an example of hypocrisy and psychological projection by "bourgeois" critics of communism, who "not content with having wives and daughters of their proletarians at their disposal, not to speak of common prostitutes, take the greatest pleasure in seducing each other's wives."[19]

20th century

According to Terry Gould's The Lifestyle: a look at the erotic rites of swingers,[20] swinging began among American Air Force pilots and their wives during World War II before pilots left for overseas duty. The mortality rate of pilots was so high, as Gould reports, that a close bond arose between pilot families that implied that pilot husbands would care for all the wives as their own – emotionally and sexually – if the husbands were lost.[21] Though the origins of swinging are contested, it is assumed American swinging was practiced in some American military communities in the 1950s. By the time the Korean War ended, swinging had spread from the military to the suburbs. The media dubbed the phenomenon wife-swapping.[22]

Later in the 1960s in the heyday of the Free Love movement, the activities associated with swinging became more widespread in a variety of social classes and age levels.[23] In the 1970s, sometimes referred to as the "The Swinging 70's", swinging activities became more prevalent, but were still considered "alternative" or "fringe" because of their association with non-mainstream groups such as communes.[24]

Swinging activities had another surge in interest and participation in the late 1990s due to the rise of the Internet.

Partner swapping in traditional societies

Arabia

Wife-lending is a practice in Pre-Islamic Arabia whereby husbands allow their wives to live with "men of distinction" to produce noble offspring. The husband, who abstained while his wife lived with the other man, would then be socially considered the father of the child.[25]

Africa

Temporary spouse-trading is practiced as an element of ritual initiation into the Lemba secret society in the French Congo through "wife exchange:"[26] "you shall lay with the priestess-wife of your Lemba Father and he shall lay with your wife too."[27][28]

New Guinea

Among the Orya of northern Irian Jaya, the agama toŋkat (Indonesian for 'walking-stick') cult "encouraged men to trade wives, i.e., to have sexual relations with each other's wives. This trading of sexual favours ... was only between pairs of families, ... adherents are now very secretive concerning cult activities and teachings."[29] In this 'walking-stick' cult "the walking stick ... dute is the term men use to refer to the husband of the woman who becomes his sexual partner."[30] Furthermore, "There have been other similar movements ... near Jayapura. These are popularly called Towel Religion (agama handuk) and The Simpson Religion (agama simpson)."[31]

Among the Mimika of southern Irian Jaya, temporary spouse-trading is said to have been originated by a woman who had returned from the world of the dead: "The wife says to her husband, '... tonight I will sleep in the house of the headman ..., and ... his wife, will sleep in your house. Because I have been dead ..., tonight I am going to do for the first time what people have been looking forward to (for so long). I am going to institute the papisj, wife exchange.'"[32]

Inuit and Aleut

Inuit wife trading has often been reported and commented on.[33] Temporary "wife-lending ... was apparently more common among the Aleuts than Eskimos". Several motivations for temporary spouse-trading among the Inuit have been suggested:

Among the Inuit, a very specialized and socially-circumscribed form of wife-sharing was practiced. When hunters were away, they would often stumble into the tribal lands of other tribes, and be subject to death for the offense. But, when they could show a "relationship" by virtue of a man, father or grandfather who had sex with their wife, mother or other female relatives, the wandering hunter was then regarded as family. The Inuit had specific terminology and language describing the complex relationships that emerged from this practice of wife sharing. A man called another man "aipak," or "other me," if the man had sex with his wife. Thus, in their conception, this other man having sex with one's wife was just "another me."[35]

Indigenous peoples in South America

Among the Araweté (Asurini) in the state of Pará, Brazil, "spouse-swapping" is practiced.[36]

Among the Bari tribe of Venezuela, when a woman becomes pregnant, the women often take other male lovers. These additional lovers then take on the role of secondary or tertiary fathers to the child. If the primary father should die, the other men then have a social obligation to support these children. Research has shown that children with such "extra" fathers have improved life outcomes, in this economically and resource-poor area of the jungle.[35]

In popular culture

Film
Literature
Television

See also

Notes

  1. 1 2 3 Bergstrand, Curtis; Blevins Williams, Jennifer (2000-10-10). "Today's Alternative Marriage Styles: The Case of Swingers". Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality 3. Retrieved 2010-01-24.
  2. ↑ Bergstrand, Curtis R.; Sinski, Jennifer Blevins (2010). Swinging in America : love, sex, and marriage in the 21st century. Santa Barbara, Calif.: Praeger/ABC-CLIO. ISBN 978-0313379666.
  3. ↑ "wife-swapping". Sex-Lexis.com. Retrieved 6 October 2012.
  4. ↑ "Why Swing?". Retrieved 4 October 2012.
  5. ↑ "Advice and information on Swingers Clubs". Swingers parties. Retrieved 11 October 2015.
  6. 1 2 Goodman, Hallie. "Happily Married Swingers". Redbook. Retrieved 2 July 2013.
  7. 1 2 "The 'Lifestyle' – Real-Life Wife Swaps". ABC 20/20. 18 March 2005.
  8. ↑ Kerner, Ian (15 September 2011). "Would you ever swing?". CNN Health. Retrieved 5 October 2012.
  9. ↑ Fabio D'Orlando (2010), "Swinger Economics", in The Journal of Socio-Economics 39(2), pp. 303–304.
  10. ↑ "Superior Court Quashes CAL-OSHA'S Attempt to Subpoena Confidential AIM Medical Records". AIM Medical. 2009-10-20. Retrieved 2009-10-21.
  11. ↑ "Older and swinging; need to identify hidden and emerging risk groups at STI clinics – Dukers-Muijrers et al. – Sexually Transmitted Infections". Sti.bmj.com. Retrieved 2013-03-14.
  12. ↑ "Disease risk higher for swingers than prostitutes". Reuters. 2010-06-23.
  13. ↑ http://xcbdsm.com/swingers
  14. ↑ http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-29406138
  15. ↑
  16. ↑ The Queen's Conjuror; The life and magic of John Dee by Benjamin Woolley, Harper Collins, 2001, ISBN 978-0-8050-6510-7, p292
  17. ↑ Michaelson, Jay (June 2007). "Why I Study Sabbateanism". Zeek.net.
  18. ↑ Nassi, Gad. "Exploring the Pagan, Jewish and Ottoman Roots of the "Sabbatean Lamb Festival"" (PDF). GadNassi.com.
  19. ↑ Karl Marx & Friedrich Engels (1848). "Manifesto of the Communist Party". Retrieved 2009-12-11.
  20. ↑ Terry Gould, The Lifestyle: a look at the erotic rites of swingers. Vintage Canada, November 23, 1999 ISBN 1-55209-482-0
  21. ↑ History of Wife Swapping, homerf.org
  22. ↑ The History and Definitions of Swinging which is Couples Only, Liberated Christians, Inc.
  23. ↑ Stone 1994, "Sex, Love and Hippies".
  24. ↑ Sheff, Elisabeth (2005). Gender, Family, and Sexuality: Exploring Polyamorous Community. University of Colorado. p. 648.
  25. ↑ Women in Pre-Islamic Arabia
  26. ↑ Janzen 1982, p. 142
  27. ↑ Janzen & McGaffey 1974, p. 100b (.7.10)
  28. ↑ Janzen & McGaffey 1974, p. 116 (81)
  29. ↑ Fields 1998, p. 40.
  30. ↑ Fields, Phil,"Of Paradise Lost: Orya myth". 1998, p. 39.
  31. ↑ Fields 1998, p. 39, fn. 10.
  32. ↑ Gerard Zegwaard (transl. from the Dutch by Peter Mason & Ton van Santvoord): Amoko. Crawford House, Belair (SA), 2002. p. 203
  33. ↑ Hennigh, Lawrence. "Functions and Limitations of Alaskan Eskimo Wife Trading" (PDF).
  34. ↑ "Do Eskimo men lend their wives to strangers?". The Straight Dope. 2003-01-21. Retrieved 2009-10-24.
  35. 1 2 Ley, David (2009). Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and The Men Who Love Them. Lanham, Maryland: Rowman & Littlefield. ISBN 1-4422-0030-8. OCLC 373474387.
  36. ↑ Eduardo Batalha Viveiros de Castro (transl. from the Portuguese by Catherine V. Howard) : From the Enemy's Point of View. University of Chicago Press, 1992. p. 127
  37. ↑ ""Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends: Season 2, Episode 2"". Retrieved 2014-05-31.
  38. ↑ http://health.discovery.com/tv-shows/secret-sex-lives-swingers

External links

This article is issued from Wikipedia - version of the Wednesday, May 04, 2016. The text is available under the Creative Commons Attribution/Share Alike but additional terms may apply for the media files.